What could possibly go wrong if you slap a women's butt in Russia v.redd.it/95oj1komq2l61
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πŸ“°︎ r/Whatcouldgowrong
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viktor2500
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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I'm a 36yo who has had bowel cancer and had 2 colonoscopies without any sedation then 2 surgeries to completely remove my bowel and sew my butt shut. AMA

Happened last year, just as the pandemic was starting up, nothing like going and finding out you have cancer to take your mind off COVID.

Originally my GP thought it was an ulcer as it was just a lot of blood when I went to the toilet, I had to have a colonoscopy done to check it and because I have no family they don't let you drive yourself home if they use sedation so went without it. Was told I had cancer while on the recovery bed and then went full testing, Surgeon wanted specific marks tattooed in my bowel for the main surgery so another colonoscopy and got 5 X's tattooed inside me.

First surgery was to remove a tumour, which I had to do bowel prep for (which is horrible) but on recovery from that they told me they found a lot more cancer and I'd have to have my entire bowel removed. Another surgery were they took out 5 feet of bowel/intestines and now I have a Stoma for the rest of my life, I wear a bag always for it and have had to learn to adjust (as personally I find it disgusting) but it's better than cancer is all I keep telling myself.

I now have to have a full range of tests every 6 months for the rest of my life and have been told 'it will be back one day' just no way to know when, they said if I was 80+ this would be normal but for my age it's very rare. These days I feel like death is chasing me and am just trying to stay ahead of it.

Pic with bag on https://imgur.com/sww0esy

Pic with bag off (possible warning as a stoma is exposed intestine outside of the body permanently) https://imgur.com/Kz2UEZU

Thought I'd add this too as one of the complications I've gone through since surgery and another possible warning of 'gross' there is hundreds of different bags and such and what comes out of my intestines actually causes a chemical burn if it touches the skin, so I ended up with second degree chemical burns around the stoma as it was pointing down so they had to try a lot of different bags till found a good one for me (thankfully they did). https://imgur.com/jO5read

Edit: So a few have asked what my butt looks like now, honestly I'd been curious but never looked for myself either, but hey it's reddit. First it's damn hard to take a pic of your own butt! second, hairy butt warning but this is what it looks like now, kinda NSFW it is a butt just with no hole: https://imgur.com/XfxIa49

Edit: lol I spelt my own name wrong.

Edit 2: I'm awake and back to answering your questions, it may take awhile but I'm happy to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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The thighs never match their unnaturally big butts
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Butt
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Khan Academy and The Organic Chemistry Tutor always save my butt v.redd.it/ci8kfn65uim61
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ELI5: Why do cigarette butts smell stronger than actual burning cigarettes?
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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If you have ever wondered how big a butt load actually is, here is the forbidden knowledge
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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Of course, believing other races are inferior is exactly the same as selling butt pics to make ends meet! These two things are equally bad! - Conservatives
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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If humans’ sense of smell were as good as dogs we’d probably need some type of deodorant for our butts.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McFlyLikeAnEagle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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Those eyes and butt wiggles v.redd.it/kk2hc4hblzn61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Raines_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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Insane bubble butt v.redd.it/a8cvr0tes7o61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scyther0378
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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This is the Butt Lady! She has been cleaning up cigarette butts in my town every day for 6 and a half years. 1 million butts and counting! Said she already picked up 423 in this parking lot. I saw her madly clicking her counter.
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πŸ“°︎ r/HumansBeingBros
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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The grass curves at will to accommodate her butt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarc30
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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Butt Napkins
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EJerico
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Butt tons of buttons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jorjorbinks99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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Wife didn't want water getting in our daughters new rubber duck so I present the Rubber Duck Butt Plug. reddit.com/gallery/m427sr
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πŸ“°︎ r/functionalprint
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragon_Small_Z
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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But where do the organs go? Do they just get squished down into the butt? Baby got spleen?
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πŸ“°︎ r/badwomensanatomy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/le72225
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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Butt Drugs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secularsins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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I saw a super photoshopped picture of her butt in this sub so I thought I’d share a paparazzi pic of the botched booty
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πŸ“°︎ r/Botchedsurgeries
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bodaciousbeb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
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⚠️Important information⚠️ Crocodiles do elevator butt like cats v.redd.it/ppml9xcl6je61
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πŸ“°︎ r/aww
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taykaybo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Doggo's big happy butt wiggles with new lambs v.redd.it/wm3chp9nx6m61
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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Im no expert on beaver butts but i know somethings off
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cliffsis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
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If a girl wears man's underwear her butt will shrivel up and fall off.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitusImmortalis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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TY to the 273 volunteers who volunteered w. SOLVE and removed 2,475 lbs of trash and over 33,000 cigarette butts from downtown this morning. We also collected 125+ needles off the city streets. This work is important. Thank you for showing up.
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πŸ“°︎ r/Portland
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Choose one evil: overly-flamboyant gay dude who is only there to fit β€œgay best friend who is the butt of jokes” role, or this
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πŸ“°︎ r/tumblr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nae-nae-gang
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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The pool is drying up, brokers have cut the water, the naked butts of these shorty hedgehogs will soon surface, ready for lift off, no dates tho, only MarketWatch knows when moon day is

Looks like we're approaching the singularity, apes together strong, literally the "you are here at the last drop before the vertical spike" position, brokers aren't issuing anymore shares allowing naked shorts anymore (thought someone had a post, may have been retailers only, I'm just trying to find reasons to convince myself to focus on the GaME, we all know it's coming, but confirmation bias just calms me down a bit), and hedgies are trying to shake the last of the paper hands before submitting to the all mighty diamond hand πŸ’ŽπŸ‘, they'll get a few shares from plastic hands at 100k and 500k, then be faced with the towering 7 digit wall.

The dip is going to be huge, go look at VW for an idea, but that's going to be a walk in the park, we already passed the test at 40, this is as easy as signing your name and handing in your ticket to the tendies.

Could take a few days, or weeks, but you apes know the drill, buy dip, hodl, scroll through Reddit, rub one out, and sleep (food and water are optional, use at own discretion).

Pay attention to MarketWatch tho, an article about apes landing on the moon might slip from the future.

Edit: Not financial advice, not even a DD, just talking straight out of ass here, I only actually know buy and hodl, all other are speculation and fresh steaming bullshit, please refer to professionals like uncle Bruce who charge 200 an hour to answer you technical questions.

πŸ’ŽπŸ‘πŸ¦πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸŒ•πŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myKingSaber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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Butt-smacker gets smacked down v.redd.it/95oj1komq2l61
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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Wait until he learns that men have butt cheeks too.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perjink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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One enjoys putting his butt on soft things. The other is a soft thing.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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A rather catchy song about butts played on a vacuum cleaner? (2009, 7k views) youtube.com/watch?v=m8c6i…
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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Spent the last few months drawing movie posters with butts instead of people imgur.com/gallery/jDnFxtl
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monipowers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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It finally happened! After studying my butt off while working for 5 years, I got my dream job!

AND I'll be earning 6 figures, which as a first-generation female immigrant, is something that I never even dreamed of! I'll be making 2-3 times more money than anyone in my family ever has. Aside from the money, I'll be doing work that I'm passionate about! I cried right after the phone call when I first got the verbal offer, and now that I've received the offer in writing I can't stop rereading the message.

Now I only hope I can live up to the position and produce great work and learn a lot!

To all of you still in the grind, I know how dark the times may seem and how impossible a successful future may seem. Keep putting in at least a little effort every day, keep putting in the effort, and one day it will pay off!!!

*Obligatory edit to say holy moly I did not expect such an overwhelming response! Thank you everyone!!!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
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Tie a weight to the end of a string, then tie that string around your tooth, and swallow the weight. It'll work its way through your system and you'll poop it out just enough. Now, every time you have an upset or icky tummy, you can just tug the weight from your butt hole and floss your whole body!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/100_Donuts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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Herman Miller Aeron is trying to kill my butt, any better alternative?

Hi,

I've been using Herman Miller Aeron for a year now.

I invested in an office chair because I spend most of my time on it especially during the quarantine.

However, it has been hurting my butt so much. I recently purchased a seat cushion but it is so high, it is sliding me off the chair.

I am wondering if there are any other chairs that have better butt support. I have been looking at Embody, but I see some posts that complain about the same problem. I am kinda disillusioned with Herman miller now, so I would appreciate any recommendations for other brands that make quality office chairs.

Thanks

Edit: I'm 6'2 ~225 pounds (probably gained some more during covid but I'm too afraid to weight myself)

And I currently have size B

Edit 2:

Thank you for all of the recommendations!

This morning, I tried most of the chairs that were listed in the comments, from brands like AllSteel, Steelcase, Humanscale,Knoll, etc. I ended up with humanscale freedom because it was the only chair with a headrest that was able to go up to my height.

From trying on these chairs, I learned the following things:

  1. Get a chair size bigger when you are in between.
  2. If you are tall, get a chair there you can adjust the seat position (where seat cushion can move forward). This will allow the cushion to support more of your leg
  3. Adjustable lumbar support can be a negative thing if it can't get high enough for you
  4. most headset doesn't fit right

I was surprised how small most of the chairs were even though I'm not that tall. I'm considered tall, but there are a lot of people who are wayyyy taller than me.

For heavier ppl over 200 pounds, I would strongly recommend a chair with a cushioned seat instead of mesh seat that can be found in Aeron.

All of the chairs I tried were better than Aeron. Still, some of them couldn't come far enough to support my leg.

Thanks to everyone who commented on this post, trying to help me out!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/didxogns1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
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I just inappropriately pinched my work colleague's butt

We've been giving each other looks from across the room all morning. We had lunch together, and went back to our own workstations once we finished.

It's been building slowly, but with intensity. I know tonight's gonna be hot.

Okay, it is my husband, and we're working from home. But technically, he's also my work colleague. So is this inappropriate behaviour for the workplace?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foxemerson
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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TIFUpdate: I complimented my date’s butt by mistake and now we’re going on a second date

I am trying to link back to my original post, but I can’t figure it out on mobile β€” please someone help.

EDIT: I figured it out, that ass to the dozen or so people who posted links : )

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/kzifz4/tifu_by_complimenting_my_dates_butt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for all the comments, not to mention all of the perspectives I definitely did not consider.

A few clarifications:

I haven’t dated since before dating apps were a thing and I was married for 7 years so please give me some grace for being Very Bad At This.

We went on an outdoor date (a walk on the boardwalk near where we live) and didn’t so much as hug. Wore masks anytime we were close to other people (turns out not many people walk outside at night when it’s 40 degrees, though).

Both he and I have kids, so the β€œsingle mom, run for the hills” thing goes both way, right?

My intended text wasn’t the exact phrase β€œthanks, you’re great” β€” I think that would be super rude! I would have been kind and appropriate (had I not instead just written β€œthat ass” but, here we are.)

No, I don’t know why my phone autocorrected to β€œthat ass.” I am glad it makes people think I have a much more interesting life and Google search history than I do!

Finally, the update:

He sent me back a link to the music video for β€œMr. Jones.” I do not know if this was also an accidental text or if I’m missing some symbolism here. Counting Crows fans, please advise.

We then chatted about the Cleveland Browns as if nothing weird had happened.

In any case, I decided the universe (and Reddit) was facilitating enough rom-com vibes (and β€œdon’t be so quick to judge” comments) that I might as well go on one more date with a nice, friendly dude, with, for what it’s worth, a pretty decent butt.

Tl;dr I am seeing that ass again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yellocopter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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I’m a guy and I want a bubble butt

Tired of pants that look terrible on me. Already squatting 3x a week, what else should I do?

edit: is the key to success volume or intensity here?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonder_brah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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Texas Power Grid: avoiding regulation seems to have really bit them in the butt

It seems to me that texas started it's own power grid to avoid federal regulations. Federal regulations that would have required, say, winterization. And more backup power supply connections to neighboring states. But NO those regs are too EXPENSIVE to follow and totally UNNECESSARY and blah blah blah now texas is royally screwed. Argh, so frustrating.

Why Texas Has It's Own Power Grid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2kyle2furious
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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[Decker] Hey @NASCARONFOX my team and I worked our butts off last year to make history β€œhighest finishing female in the truck series” Last night and tonight during the race you acknowledge most of the female drivers for women history month BUT me! Thank you for your supportπŸ˜• twitter.com/NatalieRacing…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixarfan9510
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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Butt pirates.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HangryHufflepuff1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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Butt Pug
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SurbCo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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[Request] How many songs, converted onto the likes of a drive of some sort, would fit in your butt?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madmentaldental
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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What has two butts and kills people?

An assassin

.

Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khatsos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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How to train your bunny to tell you when the butt plug is too big. imgur.com/UoSKLD6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/menolikepoopybad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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Kaley Cuoco’s butt gfycat.com/darkcreepyblac…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curiousbowling
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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It's OK, It's Just Me Touching Your Butt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryu_Shadow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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Dysphoria's been kicking my butt lately, but today I think I'm winning. 13ish months HRT.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyAimee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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Itchy butt itchy butt v.redd.it/iu6a6f2rdtj61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/___zach_b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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