Let me explain. Even though I don't like to talk about it. I (male) 25 was involved in an auto accident (I was the one driving) and lost my dad who was with me at the time. I had untreated PTSD for nearly a year. I couldn't speak about it to anyone. My sister got me in therapy 2 months ago because she said that I needed it.
This is our first holidays without dad and I wasn't intending on doing anything this year but the family decided to come and spend time with me. My aunt, my cousin and her kids, my sister and my brother in law, and my mom. My brother in law started bringing up the accident in detail exactly the way I'd describe it like he heard it from me, the number of sessions I've attended so far. Brought up the name of my therapist and asked if he's the one I been seeing. Then he started asking me how I'm doing/if my therapy sessions are benefiting me or not/and telling the exact time I got into therapy. And then casually said that I shouldn't tell people that I feel responsibility for what happened implying that I told my therapist that.
I was taken aback I asked how he knew all that. My sister said she didn't tell him and I didn't tell anyone. My brother in law looked confused when he noticed how upset I was and said that it was a "coincidence" the therapist happens to be one of his friend's brother. He's known my therapist for 5 years and that's how he knew since his friend said my name sounded familiar. I was shocked. Everyone was looking at me and my aunt started talking about me "telling everyone" about the accident. I was so infuriated I found myself lashing out at my brother in law and he started talking about how I need to deal my anger issues disregarding that he told the entire family about my sessions. After arguing with him and listening to him blaming me for how I reacted. I ended up telling him to leave. My sister sided with him then they both left My aunt defended him and said that I shouldn't have yelled at him and hurt my sister's feelings. That he was just worried about me.
I was so mad especially when they all started guilt tripping me and berating me for what I did. I sent my therapist an e--mail telling him what happened after I couldn't get a hold of him and mentioned that I will be reporting him and file a complaint against him for disclosing information without my consent. So far I haven't heard from him and What bothers me is that I'm not close with those people and hearing them gossip about me like that is not okay.
M... keep reading on reddit ➡
My girlfriend's brother (my BIL) has been seeing his girlfriend for a few months. She lives in an 4 apartment complex, with 4 unsheltered parking spots. Each tenant is entitled to use one, for his/her own car or a visit. Also, there are 2 special spots, under a roof with an individual lockable gate that are closer to the apartments. If you want to use one of these, you have to rent it for an additional monthly fee.
Since my brother in law is now a regular visitor, and one of the special spots was available, he and her girlfriend decided to rent it. She would park there on a daily basis, and he would park in the regular spot.
However, this one neighbor decided he could use this special spot if it was not ocupied when he came home, since the gate is now open. The first time, they talked to him and he apologized. Second time, he says he was in a hurry and was just about to leave. Third time, the landlord was informed and they had a long talk about it.
Well, last Saturday, when my BIL and his girlfriend arrived, neighbor's car was parked in the gated spot. No need to talk this time. My BIL closed the gate and locked it with his own padlock.
Coincidentially, they decided it would be a nice day to take a trip. They picked up some things from the apartment and left for a weekend trip. Of course, they had to block neighbor's number on their phones.
On Sunday night, back home, they found neighbor was pissed: his car was locked, they would not answer his calls and the landlord didn't give a duck about his problem for thw entire weekend.
I 36F went through an incredibly hard time losing my baby while I was 5 months pregnant with him. This has affected me both physically and emotionally. I don't have kids and my husband and I have been struggling for a long time trying to have kids. My sister has been supportive of me, she's 7 years younger than me and has been married to her husband for two years now. She visited me several times to see how I was doing. Her husband however seems to have an issue with me personally. He's always been treating me poorly and acting like he's somehow superior to me and my husband, my husband doesn't see my family much so this wasn't an issue especially when my brother in law comes over.
My husband and I were invited to thanksgiving dinner at my mom's house. We got there a bit late because I was taking care of some tests at the hospital that needed to be done so that my doctor could see them the next day. We sat at the table my aunt was present she lives alone so she always visits and casually talked about several things. I noticed my sister and my brother in law were whispering something to each other and at some point I heard my sister tell her husband to knock it off. We were confused we had no idea what was going next thing I knew my brother in law got up from his seat and announced that they were expecting.
I looked at my husband and he was shocked but not because of the news but the way it was given. My sister hid her face in her hands and did nothing else except that. It took me time to process this while my aunt got up and started hugging and congratulating my sister. I don't know what suddenly happened to me my heart started pounding and my husband was already gone to the bathroom to wash up. I just gathered my things and took my purse then told them to finish their dinner then I walked out. My sister was sitting there the entire time and just watched me and my husband walk out while my mom was trying to convince me to stay for a little longer.
I felt absolutely horrible. I only lost my baby two weeks ago and for me to be taken off guard like that is just horrible. I got no calls nor texts from my sister wanting to talk, nothing but my aunt called me to tell me what I did was totally inappropriate and that I should've stayed and congratulated my sister and her husband. Even berated my husband for not reacting differently. I argued with her that my brother in law did it purposely and that he could've picked a better time but instead chose to spite me... keep reading on reddit ➡
My (21F) SIL (34F) has 3 children. The oldest one is 8 years old, and she has twins (6F who we’ll call Ann & 6M who we’ll call George).
My SIL and my brother are very conservative. I don’t mean it in political terms, mainly in how they don’t accept LGBTQ+, men being feminine, girls being loud etc.
On a few occasions I had applied makeup for Ann when she felt in the mood. It was just light makeup which she often paired with Disney princess gowns/princessy dresses. I would make sure to remove the makeup before her bedtime.
A few days back, George saw me applying the makeup on Ann and he asked me to do so too. So for the past few days, George, Ann and I really bonded through the makeup thing.
He really enjoys doing it and would laugh the whole while.
Recently, my SIL saw me doing their makeup and was absolutely horrified. At first I thought it was a “they are too young and their skin would break out” kinda thing so I was reassuring her, telling her that I was removing the makeup on time, etc, and it was pretty light so it wouldn’t cause any breakouts/pimples.
She waved that all away and said that she had seen Ann wear makeup on a few previous occasions and was fine with it. What she was angry at, though, was that George was also wearing makeup.
At that time, I just kinda waved it off as I wasn’t in the mood for arguing and instead just told her that that belief was incredibly harmful and that George enjoyed having makeup put on his face. She immediately retorted with a “makeup will make a boy gay” argument. I repeated a few variations of the harmful belief argument and at the end she seemed to understand what I meant so I left it at that.
Last night, a couple of our extended family and friends came over for dinner. (They all tested negative for COVID, btw)
At the dinner table as I was talking about Ann and George, my SIL started talking about how she’s reluctant to leave the children with me because I’m a bad influence on them and how I’m “turning George gay” she also talked about how feminity was not meant for boys, etc and how I was a bad role model. My brother was agreeing with her the whole time.
I immediately clapped back with a “Atleast my children won’t hate me for being a toxic parent who they would be afraid to talk to.” (Not verbatim, I just remember something similar to that.)
My SIL went really quiet and it looked she was holding back tears.
After dinner, my brother came into my room and told me that I was in the wrong and a... keep reading on reddit ➡
Throwaway to prevent drama.
For some context, my brother in law [Jake] is 20 and lived with his and my wife's [Emily] parents. Recently, there has been some work being done to their home so he has had to move in with us whilst my MIL and FIL moved in with another family member. Jake has some pretty bad anxiety issues and is prone to panic attacks. There's also some other things that I can't really bring up due to the rules of this subreddit. Because of this, he has a service(?) dog [Max]. I think Max is trained to help with these things and he and Jake are always together. I completely understand the need for them to be around each other and I would never take Max away from the home for long periods of time. I'm not a total dick.
However, our neighbours have seen Max in passing and think he is absolutely stunning. They always ask to see him but they are always (politely at least) told no by Jake. Yesterday, when Jake was in the shower, our neighbour was asking about Max and I decided to take him out for a couple of minutes so our neighbours could meet him. We were literally at the end of the driveway. Eventually, Jake left the shower room and couldn't find Max and instead of acting like a rational human being when he didn't find Max in the house,. he broke down and had a panic attack. I understand that he can't control when he has panic attacks but it just seemed like such a trivial thing to get upset over.
Emily came out and got Max, sitting with Jake until he'd calmed down. He was crying and clinging to the dog like a damn child. Emily got him settled and into his bed and started berating me for it. Some choice words were thrown around and I told her that if her brother wasn't such a goddamn baby then he'd have his own house, we wouldn't be stuck with him and none of this would've happened. Jake heard and will not speak to me now.
I can see why she'd think I was the asshole here and I feel like a bit of a dick because the kid had a panic attack over it and I really didn't mean for him to hear anything I said. But at the same time, I meant what I said and I do feel like he overreacted a little bit over the dog, we were only outside for five-ten minutes tops.
Fine, i get it okay. I was a massive asshole. I'll say sorry to him and not touch the damn dog again. Happy? You can all quit insulting me now.
First and foremost, I'm sorry for any mistakes, I'm writing this on my phone and English is not my first language.
So, to get to the problem. This brother in law (BIL going forward) is actually not mine, but my boyfriends (23M), with whom I've been for 3 years.
Everything was normal until we've had to move back in with my boyfriend's parents due to covid couple of months ago. We currently live with them in a family house, the first floor being occupied by my boyfriend's parents (and us) and the second by his sister (26F) and BIL with 2 kids (boys 2 and 4).
Recently, BIL has started acting strangely towards me. At first, it was just excessively complimenting me, but that escalated. He's been trying to touch me on every opportunity he gets. Brushing our hands together, leaning really close towards me, smelling my hair, touching my hips, and now he's trying to hug me whenever he manages to get us alone.
At first, I tried to dismiss it as him searching for comfort, as he confided in me that his relationship with his wife is not going well, because all her attention is on their kids 100% of the time and he feels neglected. There have been some other issues between them, which I'm not gonna get into.
But his behaviour is starting to scare me now. Yesterday, I was cooking and as per usual, I had my headphones in, when he sneaked up behind me and hugged me. And when I got startled and turned around, he kissed my forehead and started petting my hair. I was so surprised I couldn't even speak up. After he let go, he acted as if nothing ever happened and proceed to do small talk with me.
Before you come for me, for wanting it and not setting boundaries, I was beaten and almost r**ed by a guy when I was 14 for rejecting him, so I have a very hard time saying straight up no to people. Also, my boyfriend doesn't know about this. He and BIL have a really great relationship, which I don't want to ruin, but I'm also so afraid, that his wife will find out about what's been happening and turn this on me, as she doesn't really like me that much.
Am I misinterpreting the situation? How can I deal with it without hurting anyone? Is it okay to tell my boyfriend? Thank you in advance for every advice you have for me.
Edit: I will definitely talk to my boyfriend about this. He's gonna be home in few hours. I'm also supposed to babysit the boys tomorrow, so I'll update you guys about it once I have more to say. Thank you for your comments, I read through all of them an... keep reading on reddit ➡
My wife and her sister are very close, but dissimilar in major ways. My wife isn’t materialistic, but my SIL is one of the most materialistic people I’ve ever met and majorly suffers from “keeping up with the Jones Syndrome.” This type of keeping up with the Jones’s behavior really unsettles my wife and her mom, but they rarely call it out because my SIL gets extremely defensive and acts like a victim.
I recently got a promotion at work and I wanted to get my wife something special for Christmas. I got her a diamond necklace because I thought it was nice and a lot of her grandmother’s jewelry she inherited was stolen when our house was robbed a few years ago.
I gave my wife her present at home before heading to her mom’s house. My wife was happy, but concerned with how much I might have spent.
Once at my MIL’s house, SIL asked my wife what I got her for Christmas and my wife casually replied “a necklace.” SIL fired off a barrage of questions. She asked me for all the details on it, but I couldn’t remember. She took me aside and gauchely asked me how much I paid, because she’s “very familiar with Tiffany’s collection.” I was uncomfortable with the question, but I answered because I didn’t want to make it more weird.
On our way home, my wife got a text from my SIL saying they needed to have “a real talk,” she knows a lot about jewelry didn’t want to “throw shade,” but “she could have gotten a much better deal on something better for the money.” I was annoyed and angry, but brushed it off. When I was in the other room, my MIL called my wife and started talking about how my SIL could find a better deal for the price and in the background she could hear my SIL revealing how much I paid and what she could have found for us instead. This really pissed me off. I told my wife that I was going to text her sister and ask her to stop. Normally, my wife would say no, but because we had a few drinks, she didn’t object to me texting saying I appreciate her trying to find a better deal, but it’s upsetting me, so please stop. SIL texted back saying she had only asked me so she could “place what piece you bought her as I am very very familiar with their collection.”
A few minutes later I got a call from her husband asking me why I was attacking his wife. I was annoyed and pissed and told him to go fuck himself and hung up. I felt badly, so I called him back to apologize, but asked him to stay out of it and leave it alone. He said it was his duty defend his wife w... keep reading on reddit ➡
First time poster. Please bear with me. This might be a long one. I'm being cautious about giving away too much as this might cause problems for me in the future. For starters, I live in another country from parents and siblings. I migrated 10 years ago away from everyone. The country and city where I am now living in is known for nature, nice beaches and wineries.
For starters, I have a wife and kids. My house isn't big but not small as well. It just fits well for the size of the family plus another room for my home office (this is important later in the story). Every now and then, parents and siblings would drop by to visit. Everything was well until their last visit. Take note that at time of this story, I only have one kid.
Some history about parents and siblings. My parents live a comfortable life (not rich and wealthy) and are a bit entitled. They still both work and hold a reasonably good job for their age. They have helpers at home to clean the house, cook their food, wash their clothes and the like.
My brother (EB in this story) is married to Entitled Sister in Law (ESIL in this story) and have kids of their own. My brother is a high-income earner in his country but tries to take advantage of any possible situation. For starters, he still lives with my parents. He pretty much converted most of the rooms in my parent’s house to suit their needs (kids rooms, nannies rooms, etc.). The thing about EB is that he doesn't pay any bills in the household except her own credit. I'm not even sure who pays for the kid's school. I have a lot of things to rant about them but that's another story. However, another thing to take note about my EB is he expects you to pay for everything in their behalf (food, holidays, etc.). Enough about the backstory.
OP - who else
OW - OP's awesome wife
M - Mom
EB - Entitled Brother
ESIL - Entitled Sibling in Law
M, EB and ESIL visited a few years back (this was way before COVID). To accommodate M, EB and ESIL, we had to rearrange the house. M was to sleep with my kid (one child at this point) while EB and ESIL stayed in one of the spare rooms. OP and OW had to get most of the items from the spare room and move it to the garage to make this set-up work.
One of the joys of EB and ESIL (and M as well) is shopping. On the first day of their holiday, they ask to be driven to the local outlet store that sells a number of midrange and high-end goods. The country where I live in (especially the city where I live... keep reading on reddit ➡
We grew up in an isolated, conservative village with no sex education and talking about sex is taboo. I eventually left, but my sister and BIL still live there. My sister is pregnant with her first child, and she and her husband believe that having a baby involves not just one, but many sperms, so they need to have sex every day to 'build the baby'. She complains about how she is tired of having sex every day. She is also thinking about cheating on my BIL with another guy because he has 'better genes' and that would make the baby stronger. Should I tell her the truth?
I F33 lost my husband in an accident and he passed away shortly after he arrived at the hospital
We have two girls who are 9 and 5 and It's been very devastating and very difficult to be taking care of them while going through these tough times. My mom would help a lot and I'm so thankful for that.
My in-laws have been keeping to themselves but my brother in law would visit often to see the girls. He has always wanted kids on his own but hasn't been able to because his wife has medical issues.
He treats my girls well. And has been generous but treats me poorly and makes comments and criticizes my parenting often. He implied he wanted to be their guardian but I told him no.
He started demanding I bring the girls over to my in-laws house. And would get upset when I tell him I have work. He'd claim I'm clearly not taking care of the girls and don't fit to be a single parent.
We got into a huge argument after I told him I no longer will be welcoming him into my house because of his behavior. And he the reported me to CPS after I refused to let him into my house.
He claimed that I'm not taking good care of my girls needs/refusing to let them see their grandparents/being busy with work and other things I don't know about.
I had to deal with CPS once then after they did a surprise visit and thank goodness it went well although I was told to deal with some issues that are normal in every family.
I told my in-laws about what my brother in law did but didn't do anything. His wife was the one who told me eventually.
It's been over a month now. My inlaws are calling to tell me that i should let my brother see the girls after I told them that only them see my girls.
I refused to let him see the girls after what he did and the disrespect he shown but my in-laws are pressuring me saying these are their granddaughters and I have no right to act like this just out of spite.
Edit to say that the issues I'm dealing with are trying to balance my working hours with the time I spend with the girls. I have my mom either come over or take them to her house so I could pick them up after I get off work. Another thing is therapy and my girls are currently in therapy. I'm trying to take it slow but it's just so overwhelming and then to have to deal with my brother in law's behavior is just a lot for me and there isn't anything more I want than to spend time with my girls but I have to work since no one is willing to help with anything. I'm not the person who feels comfor... keep reading on reddit ➡
My wife, her brother and I were at a diner style restaurant. While looking at the menu, I considered getting a patty melt, but decided to get something else. My BIL did order the patty melt. That's why it stuck in my head, because I almost ordered it too.
When the waitress returned with our order, she placed the patty melt in front of my BIL and he complained it wasn't what he ordered. The waitress looked at her order pad and confirmed that he ordered a patty melt. My BIL started getting angry and the waitress got really wide eyed and anxious, apologizing and offering to take it back and fix the mistake.
Except it wasn't a mistake. He got exactly what he ordered. So I interrupted and reassured the waitress that she did not make a mistake. I turned to my BIL and told him he in fact ordered the patty melt. Now, the question is if he wants something different, he'd have to order again, but we weren't going to make the waitress take it back. My BIL grudgingly accepted the patty melt.
After the waitress left, he got angry at me for interfering. He asked if I always paid so much attention to what other people ordered and accused me of being nosy. My wife took his side and said I should have stayed out of it.
It turned out he had thought he ordered what was on the picture to the right of the patty melt entry on the menu, but the picture was of a Super Burger that had its entry was below the picture. Also the picture was clearly labeled Super Burger. He didn't read carefully.
The best I can figure is that my BIL got mad because I caused him to lose face in front of a stranger/ waitress. My whole POV is that I knew the facts, and the truth was the waitress hadn't made a mistake and I didn't think she needed to apologize for a mistake that wasn't hers.
AITA for siding with the waitress when my BIL made the mistake?
My husband and I are preparing to sell our starter home, as we need more space for our family (two adults + two kids + 1 tiny bathroom = discomfort). We've got a good bit of equity built up and expect to go up a bracket or two on price.
It just so happens that my husband's sister's husband just got his real estate license a month ago and (obviously) is hungry for work and opportunities. It is common for my in-laws to combine business and friendship/family relationships, and he's already starting talking about "beginning the process" when we've never actually said anything about hiring him and don't plan to.
The thing is, while I think my BIL is a pretty all-around competent guy, I do not like the way he interacts with and talks about people he knows. He seems to have problems with almost everyone he meets and works with, and finds conflict and drama in nearly every circle he's in. To add to this, we differ strongly politically, culturally, and religiously, and prefer not to spend a lot of time with him outside of family events. My husband is even more strongly opposed to hiring him than I am (I would consider doing it to keep the peace, as this is going to create an awkward situation if we go elsewhere).
TL;DR: WIBTB for not hiring a family member to do a job for personal reasons, even though he needs the work and would probably do a good job?
Bonus question: What's a polite way to go about informing BIL that we won't be hiring him? My husband and I are both pretty nonconfrontational.
Edit: Thanks for all the great responses, everybody. Some helpful suggestions here. Appreciate it!
First off, I’m not sure why I’m writing this here other than that I need to get it out there and my poor wife is trying to come to terms with the loss of her brother. Her brother who leaves behind a young wife and six year old daughter. I’m not writing this to scare people but it is a raw reminder of what this virus is capable of.
Twenty-nine days ago we didn’t even know he was sick until his wife called us in the morning.
Twenty-nine days ago he was admitted to the Covid ICU.
Twenty-nine days ago he told my wife how scared he was as they intubated him.
Twenty-nine days ago is the last time any of us will ever have talked to him.
After he was intubated, it was the world’s crappiest roller coaster. One of those horrible wooden ones that you just know is going to break and fling you off. Most days were bad, you lived and died by PEEP and FiO2 numbers. You were slightly relieved when you got the update from the nurse with the rose colored glasses and smacked back into reality when the Doctor who was too exhausted to sugarcoat anything gave the update. We had two good reports the whole time, but they were always followed by worse news it seemed. Mostly we were just in limbo. Eventually, he was moved to the medical ICU, not for improvement but because he aged out of the Covid ward and was no longer infectious. The blessing here is that he was finally allowed a visitor, so his wife would go everyday and FaceTime us in to talk to him, even if he couldn’t hear us.
Two days ago, his potassium spiked so high they had to start dialysis. His insulin was sky high, and they couldn’t keep his heart rate down. He’d contracted bacterial pneumonia. There was talk of a pacemaker being implanted. Last night, he aspirated into a leaky ventilator tube and his SpO2 crashed into the 30s for twenty minutes, at this point his brain was dying and there was no coming back. Mercifully, but horrifyingly, there was no decision left to be made. He died minutes after the ventilator was removed. The nurses, doctors, therapists, they were all amazing throughout the whole ordeal even with the weight of a thousand people’s worlds on top of them. I don’t know how they keep doing this.
The world needlessly lost a great man tonight. A man who in the past year had finally reached the happiness he’d always searched for after conquering many demons. I’m saddened, infuriated, and heartbroken. He was careful like we all are, but at some point he let his guard down, for just a moment, and now... keep reading on reddit ➡
Me: not paying attention until this point
My brother: when my daughter was born and I saw the placenta, I was like “the baby was livin in this f***in’ thing?”
My sister in law: laughing noooOOO
My boyfriend: so you have two stomachs...??? Because doesn’t the food like...go in there??
My brother: no, listen, the baby is attached to the uh...the placenta..
My SIL: okay so listen. The baby is in a SACK, okay? Your stomach squished. And the sack is where the baby is at
My bf: right..
My SIL: and in the sack, the placenta is in there
My boyfriend: whole time I thought the sack was the platent-placenta
My brother: ME TOO! Me too.
Me: guys the baby is in our freaking uterus
My SIL: yeah it’s in our uterus, it’s not even in our stomach!
My boyfriend: look I’m not a girl, so-
My brother: aye, same bro. fist bumps great minds think alike
My SIL: so yes the baby is in the uterus but there is a sac-
My boyfriend: okay so basically it’s just a giant vagina with a baby in it
My SIL: pretty....I guess pretty much...???
Me: looking at my sister in law the vagina is totally different than the freaking uterus!
My boyfriend: no the vagina is part of the uterus!
Me: finds a diagram to show my boyfriend LOOK.
My BF: points at rectum is that the vagina?
Y’all I can NOT make this stuff up😂 this was only half of it. The rest I wasn’t able to catch on video. Basically after that it was us explaining how the cervix is what separates the vaginal canal to the uterus and that when you’re going into labor the cervix starts to dilate.
My brother in law “Kevin” is visiting for the holidays but is staying in his camper on our property to give everyone some space. The other day I was walking by the camper and heard him blasting pornography. I told him to turn it down, and he obliged, but he said no one can hear it because we don’t have neighbors. I can hear it though?
Anyway, earlier today I was looking out of the window and noticed the tool shed was left open. I went to go close it and the reason it was open is because Kevin was in there whacking of with the door wide open. He didn’t stop when I caught him, he just told me to fucking knock. I ran to tell my husband, who agreed with Kevin that I should’ve knocked. Fuck! I know it’s his brother and shit but I feel my husband should be taking my side? I want Kevin gone.
My brother and sister in law have a total of 6 children ages 9-17. Only 2 are his, she has a total of 4 baby daddies but my brother is her latest victim. That's a whole other story.
This year was mine and my husband's first year in our new home so we wanted to do a big Thanksgiving, but then Covid happened. Usually Thanksgiving in my family consists of at least 25-30 people. We told everyone we would not be doing anything in early September since we will be quarantining, which was mostly true.
My mom is elderly and I didn't want to risk her being around a ton of people, especially kids. But I wanted her over for Thanksgiving because it's her favorite holiday. So yesterday I made a big Thanksgiving dinner for me, my husband, and my mom. That's it. Not siblings, kids, aunts, uncles, or anyone else.
Well, I made the mistake of posting a quick snapchat video of my wonderful mom with both our cats on her lap, enjoying a cup of tea after dinner, sitting next to our roaring fireplace and Christmas tree. It was really cute.
It was captioned "Perfect holiday. Quiet house, warm fire, no kids."
I forgot my sister in law's eldest daughter (17) follows me on snapchat.
I got a raging text about 30 minutes later from my brother about how I lied and "took the kid's Thanksgiving away" and how "they had to eat pizza instead of getting a Thanksgiving" and so on. I initially ignored it, until my SIL texted me, literally calling me a bitch for "stealing" her kid's Thanksgiving. She said they will not be coming over for Christmas (even though I haven't invited them to lol.)
I responded "Sorry you apparently cannot cook a Thanksgiving dinner yourself for your own kids and rely on other people to do that, but that is not my problem. Shame I won't be seeing your kids for Christmas, I guess I'll be returning every single gift here under the tree that was for them and you can explain that to them."
I didn't get anything again until today, which was my brother texting me, apologizing and sending me memes like it never happened.
I ignored it.
In need of wedding party advice
I (21 F) am recently engaged and we're getting close to being a year out from the wedding. My fiance and I have a pretty close knit group of friends and majority of them already know they will be in the wedding without us even having to formally "ask", but there is just one situation... I don't know whether I should put my fiance's, brothers, who we'll call Rick, girlfriend, who we'll call Hannah, in my wedding party. Anyways, here are my reasons for concerns:
Rick and Hannah have only been together for around 1.5 years, and this is really Ricks first girlfriend he has brought around in general since I have been with his brother (3.5 years). They met in college and Hannah isn't from around here. I like Hannah though, she's come around quite a bit since the start of her and Ricks relationship and we have grown close. We'll hang out just the two of us, have gone on trips together, and talk pretty often. However, I have in a way kept myself from getting too attached to her because with like I said this being Ricks first really serious relationship, I am aware that anything can happen. They could break up tomorrow, or six months from now, or they could be endgame. The future for them is still just really unknown, and I don't want to put myself in the position of putting her in the wedding and then they break up a month out and I am scrambling for a filler which I truly DO NOT have.
Hannah is a nice girl, but she can be a bit much. Call me petty and I guess to each their own on where people stand, but I have never been a fan of girls who date siblings referring to each other as "sister in law" and "future sis" or referring to your S/O's nieces and nephews as YOUR nieces and nephews before you are even engaged or married. My fiance's eldest brother and SIL actually welcomed the first grandbaby/nephew into the family mid 2020, and I now refer to him as my nephew and myself as Aunt because we are engaged, but before I felt was disrespectful because I was not part of the family. Hannah on the other hand thinks that it is acceptable to refer to herself as Aunt and the baby as her nephew because I get to. And idk, it just rubs me the wrong way and my future SIL hasn't physically heard Hannah say it, but has stated she would prefer Hannah not until her and Rick are a for sure thing and Hannah is going to be a part of this family for the long haul.
Lastly, since my engagement, every time I have seen Hannah and talked to her about t... keep reading on reddit ➡
My wife was more than five months pregnant when we learned that our daughter would not survive outside the womb. We were devastated, as this was a very wanted pregnancy. My wife made the difficult decision to have an induction abortion. The procedure itself went as expected, and she is physically fine. Emotionally, we are both still grieving. I was with her the whole time.
Yesterday, we had a family gathering. My family knew we were expecting, and I had the horrible job of telling them we had lost the baby. My parents and sister expressed their sympathies. However, bil, who is extremely pro-life, throughout the night told my wife repeatedly her that she was a murderer and that she killed her own daughter, and all sorts of other awful things that made her feel much worse. I was appalled when I caught him doing this, and my wife was on the verge of breaking down all over.
I yelled at him, pointing out how he had gotten a DUI in the past that put another person in the hospital, how he was working a low-paying job selling cigarettes that kill thousands of people every year at a convenience store, and how I had needed to bail him and my sister out financially more than once for medical reasons. Then I ended with "If anything, you're a walking advertisement for abortion. Your mother probably wishes she had aborted you."
I took my wife home, furious. Then later, I got a call from my sister. She apologized initially, saying she realized what her husband had said was out of line, but then tried to justify it by pointing out that he was raised to believe abortion was wrong. I should have been more understanding, and it was unfair of me to point out his past struggles when he had been doing better recently. I cussed her out and hung up, but now I'm wondering if I did go too far? AITA for basically telling my brother in law he should have been aborted?
Update: thank you all so much for the support. My sister called me a few hours ago, and we talked. It turns out she didn't know what he had actually said. He made it seem like he had just said he disagreed with abortion, which I would say is still unacceptable to tell grieving parents. But when I told her what he actually said, she was horrified. She apologized profusely and is now considering leaving him (there were a lot of other red flags in their relationship). She's now fully on our side and can't believe her husband could be so vile
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who had to deal with a bunch of confrontations about the CF life during the holidays. My deep condolences to all of you.
All of my four siblings know by now that I don't want to have kids. They're also aware that my partner is snipped and even though they were a bit shocked since he's only 25 and got that done like 4 years ago, they accept it without any problems.
My BIL though is a special one. I like him, he's honest and he says what he thinks. He's snipped too because he has a daughter that he brought from a very strange marriage and my sister accepted her. I don't have any issues with that, I'm glad my sister is not a bad step mother because I can imagine that it would make things a lot worse if they didn't like each other.
So the issue is that he always complains how he wasted so much time of his life, how he would never have kids if he could go back in time and he's soo glad he's snipped...yet he keeps on telling me that I'm so young and I would grow out of my mindset. We were talking about fitness (since we ate soooo much lol) and I'm fairly sporty and thin. He didn't know any better than to keep on telling me that my body will change over years (which I won't deny) and especially after I had kids. I denied that though, since that is one of the reasons I don't want to have kids. My sister even reminded him that my partner is snipped, to which he replied that, that would be reversible. So I told him he should do it too then since it's that easy and I'm sure my sister would love to have a child.....silence. Ez I won.
Sorry for the long rant but I seriously don't understand it. Why do you want to push others to have the same regrets instead of covering for them and motivating them to learn from your mistakes?
He could be one of us but I guess he's mad that he still has to care for his currently very difficult teenage daughter and has to fight over things on a monthly basis with his ex-wife.
Edit: (corrected a typo) man this blew up. Thanks I just wanted to rant lol I am thankful for people trying to make some sense of why he is that way though. Again, I do like him, he's funny and most importantly he treats my sister well but I will confront him more if it should happen again. He definitely didn't bring it up again after what I told him so maybe I already helped him think about his own words.
I (28F) have been married for 4 years. My husband (29) has a brother who is 2 years older than him, lets call him Ben. Ben has 2 kids (6yrs) and (9mths) with a woman called Amy.
When Ben was still with Amy, he was an a-hole towards her, he promised to marry her but never did, instead he cheated on her multiple times. So about 2 years ago Ben was caught cheating again and this was Amy’s last straw and they broke up. I should add Ben knew Amy was a few weeks pregnant at this point.
Amy who had been living with her mother decided to move closer to the city to look for work. soon enough she found herself a boyfriend and moved in with him, this caused Ben to become enraged. He threw another online tantrum saying he didnt want his kids being raised by a stranger, and even threatened to stop supporting the kids financially if they continue living with the bf. Amy resorted to sending her kids back to to live with her mother. unfortunately, a few weeks ago, Amy's mom had a stroke and is now incapable of caring for herself, much less the kids.
so now I found out that Ben asked my husband if we can raise his two kids for him. he says he doesn’t have the time to do it because he has to work as a teacher and come home to mark schoolwork. he says since I work remotely Im the only one capable of taking care of the kids. I refused and I'll give my reasons:
this is why my husband disagrees: I told him i might have been willing to raise the kids if Ben and Amy were dead or if they were incapable of caring for the kids because of something they can't control, but Im not willing t... keep reading on reddit ➡
.Ever since she was a baby he’d walk inside the house and the first thing he’d say is “where is she?” and frantically look for her in the living room and open closed doors in the house until he found her with my sister (who was also very weirded out by this). He’d do this every day. My sister would start locking her door and he’d knock.
Now that my sister has her own house and a new baby. She has banned visitors bc of COVID. We just came to drop off gifts for my niece’s birthday (the one he’s obsessed with) and my sister clearly said to everyone that she’d do FaceTime the next day when my niece opens her gifts But the weirdo was not having it he was like “NO! I’m gonna see her and give her my gift. I’m not leaving until she opens it.”
My niece was having dinner at the time and my sister told him that he had to wait until she was done eating in the hopes that he’d just leave the gift and go. But he was like “that’s fine. I’ll wait until she’s done.” So right before my niece came out he was told that he had to keep his distance. His own wife (my other sister) told him several times “keep your distance”, he was like “I know”.
We all kept our distance except him! He gave her his gift. And then had to put it on her (some watch) And on top of that he goes and asks her “can I have a hug!?” Like what the fck?! My sister gave clear instructions. But he couldn’t respect them i guess it’s bc of his obsession
It’s so crazy to me bc Blood family members respected her rules but he’s just married to my other sister.
My sister (my niece’s mother) was furious and with reason but she still did not mention anything to the asshole that has put her whole family at risk including her baby. She had my niece shower, the moment she went back in the house.
If I were my sister i would’ve gone off on him and finally ask what the fck is up with his obsession with my daughter.
What do you all think about this? This cannot be normal.
I really want to make a separate post to get into specifics about my personal situation, the sexual harassment I’ve experienced with my BIL. it’s just that it is hard for me bc I’ve stopped crying and suffering bc I don’t wanna develop more health issues. To be honest the thing that broke me and hurt me deeply, a pain that I cannot express was caused by my parents betrayal. How could a parent want to protect one child and not the other (me) that needs more protection and support. I don’t understand how they could just disregar... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm based in England.
For the record, I'm only interested in protecting my asset as my brother is going through a potential divorce and the house he lives in with his wife is jointly owned with me only. It is worth perhaps mentioning my elderly mother lives with them who requires care. It is also perhaps noting that house was bought by me and my brother before he got married.
His wife is an immigrant with a spouse visa and has stormed out the house and threatened my brother that she will take him for everything he has. They have no children and been married 5 years.
My understanding is that if they file for divorce she will be entitled to at least 50/50 of what he owns. Does this mean she can force the sale of the house to obtain "her share"?