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AITA for calling my boyfriend an insecure little boy after his repeated jokes that I "cheated the system" to get to a career that pays more than his?

Tim and I met in an English literature class our junior year of college, and we’ve been together the ten years since. While he ended up going into IT, I stayed in the liberal arts track and ended up doing non-profit work after college when I realized I didn’t actually want to be a schoolteacher. Just to say that we always assumed he’d out-earn me by a considerable margin, though when he made more I always insisted we split things evenly to avoid potential resentment down the road.

I’ve had sort of a non-linear career path, but ended up switching to the corporate world. To make a long story short, my liberal arts degree and time doing non-profit work gave me a lot of skills that enable me to really excel professionally in some more niche areas. I recently started a new job as a consultant, making way more than I’d ever anticipated. When I got the offer, I told Tim that the pay was β€œamazing”, but he didn’t ask about the actual amount and I didn’t want to be braggy about it, especially since I was fairly sure it was above his current income.

Well we just put in an application for a new place, and in the process of having to submit our paystubs it’s become obvious that I make roughly 30% more than he does now. I expected him to think that was cool, since he’s a feminist and has always been super supportive of my career. But instead he’s started to make increasingly harsh jabs about how I β€œcheated the system” to get where I am, that no English lit major makes more than a cyber security professional without cheating somehow.

His major point is that I got my first job out of nepotism, which set me up to β€œtrample” more qualified people who didn’t have the same advantages. It’s true that I got my first post-college job after being referred by a sorority sister, but it was for non-profit work making 22k/yr, not exactly at somebody’s daddy’s firm. He also points out that at my first corporate job, I snagged a big promotion after volunteering to take on starting up the company’s diversity/equity/inclusion program, and I’ll admit that were I a white man, it’s highly unlikely I would have been able to be the face of the eventually high-profile diversity program. Tim also notes that I was awarded a small college scholarship for being a β€œpromising female writer”, when no such scholarship existed for males.

But all that said…I still don’t feel like I cheated the system, and it makes me angry to listen to him β€œjoke” about it, especially since I grew up blue collar and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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