So this happened back in 2019. I live in a small town in Wales but I was on the train to London to see BonJovi (awesome band!). It was a long bus journey so I had a lot of pre-cut bracelet thread in a box and had two wheels with me. I got on my second train from Swansea to London and there was this little girl on the train with me, and she was STARING. It was cute and I work with children, so I asked her mum if she would like to make some, the mother did not look up from her phone.
"Sure" she shrugged. So the little girl came and sat next to me, and we made bracelets for over an hour. She made 8, all different colours - glow in the dark, UV reactive, she had one. I was more than happy to let her keep what she made, but once it came time for me to switch trains I packed up. I turned back around but both of my bracelet wheels were gone?
Me: "Do you still have the wheel I gave you?"
"Mummy has it" She replied, I looked to her mother who was putting both wheels into her bag, now these wheels are like £5 a wheel, and I had to make a five hour journey back the next day, so I asked her for the wheels back.
"Aren't you a little old for these bracelets? Look how good my daughter is at them"
"Yes, she's good, and you can buy her some from Amazon, but I have more trains to catch and need them back"
"But my daughter really likes them"
"I understand, she can have one, but I need the other back"
"I only have one," I could literally see them BOTH (they're both different colours)
"I can see it in your bag, look I need to get off the train, give me back the wheel"
"But my daughter is going to be bored"
"I said you could keep one, but I need the other back, give it back"
"You're too old for them! What are you 20?" I actually was 20.
"Regardless of my age, I need them back, they help my ADHD and anxiety (they do)
"You can get more, my daughter will be bored!" The train had stopped so I NEEDED to get off. I had to wave a worker over and just straight up told him what was happening, and that this mother had stolen something from me. She then tried to tell him that I was trying to steal from her daughter and to look at her daughters wrists. I had to get out my god damn etsy shop and show him that I sell macrame bracelets and the photos I had of the wheels earlier that day.
The worker made her give them back or she would be escorted off the train, and the woman handed back one - now here is where I got a bit petty. I asked for them both back. I felt
Edit: 23/12/20- Haas has released a statement , confirming that Mazepin and Schumacher will consist their 2021 driver lineup.
Nikita Mazepin is another "pay driver", but he comes with more on and off track behavioural problems- which is even more problematic for having him in F1.
This is Formula One that he's going to compete in- the fastest cars on the planet. A sport that gets a lot of attention not only from the media, but is admired and loved by so many fans around the world.
Money does speak louder than results, but even more so over morals:
#On Track Behaviour
Getting handed Two (5 seconds) Post Feature Race Penalties at the Sakhir GP-
"The first five-second penalty came after the Hitech Grand Prix driver was found to have forced Yuki Tsunoda off track and into the pit lane exit during a battle between the pair. (continued in the linked article.)"
"Mazepin was then handed a second five-second penalty for hindering Felipe Drugovich on the pit straight. (continued in the linked article.)"
There were at least two more such incidents of dangerous driving for which he didn't get a penalty at the Sakhir Feature Race. via u/DataGhostNL
Sochi 2019: Total Lack of Care for fellow drivers, for which he got a 15 place penalty. Via u/themaxiom and u/onemoreclick
And here slamming the P2 board, which nearly hit Yuki Tsunoda.
This clearly isn't normal. Bottas or other drivers just hit it the board a little, as you can see Mazepin smashes into it at very high speed. Vettel picked up the P1 board by hand. Stop comparing Mazepin to these incidents (Bottas and Vettel hitting the P2 board isnt excusable and right behaviour either).
There are many other incidents of dangerous and reckless driving by Mazepin.
#Off Track Behaviour
[NSFW] (blurred) His deleted instagram story- a link to the post here. The mods have posted a blurred SFW version. u/pek... keep reading on reddit ➡
Sincerely, a woman who is pretty sure that a close guy friend of hers is into her and wants to reciprocate
Every now and again on tiktok I'll come across clips of dogs of all breeds/sizes being allowed to get away with potentially dangerous aggressive behaviours.
From a ShihTzu who'll bite + chase the owner, a Rottie I once saw snarl/bark + charge at someone who flipped them the bird, to another Rottie snarling + baring teeth while it's owner clipped his nails, to a Golden I just witnessed bare teeth, tongue flick, and heavily focused on the owner while they tried to groom him.
The biggest suprise? The high percentage of comments found the behaviour perfectly acceptable and hilarious.
Depending on where you live or the severity of the injury,, one bite is enough to put that dog on death row. Don't risk your dogs life for a damn laugh or any reason at all really wtf.
No matter what parenting strategy you subscribe to, the science is pretty clear that up to about age 6 kids do not have the ability to be malicious or manipulative. No matter how much their actions may seem that way remember - they are not trying to hurt you, anger you or hurt/break other people or things. They are simply learning boundaries and exploring limitations.
“But he knows he’s not supposed to pour his milk onto his plate” yes... he may know that, but he doesn’t know what happens when he does. And he wants to explore that.
Consequences are the reason we adults avoid doing things. Incentives are almost always the reason we do things.
Eat healthy food, feel better, live longer. Good.
Throw a glass on the floor... broken glass, big mess, possible glass in foot. Bad.
A 2 year old does not understand both sides of this yet. They don’t even understand incentives yet let alone consequences.
Just remember if your child is not responding to you the way you want them to, it is not their fault, it’s yours. Stop what you’re doing and try something new.
Above all be patient.
(EDIT: so glad this could help. The honest truth is that I’m Someone who likes to write and when I’m feeling a certain way and I remember some of the “wisdom” I’ve learned - sharing it with Reddit or Facebook is a great way to remind myself of it. Thanks for the awards and comments. Remember you are certainly not alone. Your toddler is absolutely not the only one who acts like a lunatic sometimes. We have the logic and understanding of an adult, and all of our cognitive memories are from when we were old enough to understand our own feelings and so it’s natural to expect the same from a toddler because we can’t ever remember not understanding something as simple as; throw cup of milk and milk spills and we don’t get milk anymore. It’s so simple and logical we can’t fathom a toddler not understanding that. But those are actually really complex concepts and it takes a child years before they even put 2 and 2 together. We just have to remain understanding.... no matter how many 9pm glasses of wine after he’s finally asleep it takes to cope :P )
The most common one I've seen is "you're not a real bass player if you're using pick" but I'm wondering what else have you guys encountered. I don't want to mistake a gatekeeping behaviour for an actual advice, so I thought it'd be nice to know them.
Sorry for the weird question lol.
A month ago I had a therapy visit that made me feel awful. I ended up with a lot of guilt and I started self harming afterwards.
First thing my therapist asked me after hearing my name is "Do you speak our language?"and cut me off as I was responding her and said "oh just a little then?" despite me trying to tell her that I speak the language fluently (my name sounds foreign because my parents were immigrants).
Afterwards I told her about my childhood abuse from my family. I told her how my dad broke my teeth as a kid, once injured my face until I was bleeding, used to beat me and leave my body scarred....I told her about my cousin who beat me and tried to stab me when I was a kid...and how his behaviour made me shut myself off from other people, skipping school and running away from home once.
She said that I was obviously not telling the whole truth. I was shocked to hear that since I was being sincere with her, but I asked her what about the things I said made her question my truthfulness. She replied that I was obviously telling my side of things only and that I am being unfair to my parents and family. She also said, and I quote her : " you just weren't strong enough to deal with it. Plenty of people get hit when they're young but you were too sensitive. It's like how some people have more melanin to protect themselves from the sun, you weren't strong enough to deal with that"
She also suggested that I should drop out of college and pursue "a similar career to my mother" (my mother is a house cleaner) since I used to do poorly in highschool.
I left my visit feeling very hurt. Is this how therapists normally behave? And is it really that shameful of me to have perfoed poorly in highschool due to the abuse I was facing at home?
Why: Scott's Totts is horrible, sure, but it was born of one single act which whilst reckless and irresponsible, came from pure intentions and love for those children.
At Phyllis's wedding however Michael is constantly trying to steal the limelight for completely selfish reasons. Because of this, I always feel so much more uncomfortable watching the wedding episode than Scott's Totts.
In the moment I feel like I couldn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks of me or the way I’m acting, because at the time my emotions feel so real and justified.
When I calm down and go back to rational, normal me, I am soul crushingly embarrassed and ashamed of what I’ve said and done. To the point where I can’t actually believe that was me. God what must people think of us? I cannot bare the thought of what people think, especially people that obviously I would never want to know about my condition like my boyfriends family, who hear about my behaviour and must just think I’m a massive bitch. It makes me want the ground to swallow me up and never be seen again.
EDIT: the response to this post has been amazing. I would just like to say I am proud of every single one of us for battling through this illness day in day out. The fact that we all feel so much shame about our behaviour just illuminates how deeply we truly do feel and care as human beings. We may be a lil broken but I whole heartedly believe we are all incredibly strong and so full of love. Let’s all direct some of this love to ourselves today.
My friend gave me this advice yesterday, it really spoke volumes. Never lose sight of the the fact that your partner should also be your best friend.
Specifically what comes to mind is that people were doing online groceries, stores wanted only 1-2 persons per family to come etc.
I remember I had to do an online order a week in advance because all the slots were booked but I just did one last night and all slots were empty and I picked up mine this morning.
When I do go into grocery stores, I still see entire families shopping.
And the biggest for me is that people have completely forgotten about social distancing- its like the patience has run out or they think because they are wearing a mask or because its outdoors, its ok.
The lack of social distancing has been a big one for me especially within stores.
Edit: thank you for your comments and I do understand being frustrated with lockdowns and having to stay home etc.
But what about social distancing? Is it really that hard to just stand a bit farther back or to give someone a few seconds to select their produce rather than to just lean in front of them?
Seriously, this is my Ndad's logic! So he is allowed to throw a ranging tantrum at every little thing that slightly annoys him, and he is allowed to scream his lungs out at me over the smallest thing. Yet, I am not allowed to react negatively to his behaviour. Whenever his screaming makes me feel on edge, he begins saying "I want you to stop worrying!". So then I reply "if you stop screaming at me, I'll stop worrying." which sends him on a massive rage. "ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN? WHEN DID I EVER SCREAM AT YOU? THAT TIME? THAT'S BECAUSE YOU..."
The sheer lack of self-awareness still amazes me. Luckily, I'm finally planning my escape, and I hope to be out of here by the end of the month. I just can't stand anticipating his next explosion every single day, and then getting nowhere whenever I try to ask for basic human decency or respect. Even when he was unemployed and I supported him, he still acted extremely horribly towards me. It was like I had to take care of a raging toddler in the body of a 50 year old alcoholic. Lately it's been worse and I've had nothing but headaches and migraines for the past few days.
Me and a guy I was seeing had sex a few weeks ago.
Things were getting heated so I asked if he had a condom, he lied and said no so I said sorry I can't have sex with you.
He then was like oh actually I have one, I shouldn't have continued after that and tbh I didn't want to but felt weird backing out last minute.
So we're still having foreplay and he is taking forever to put on the condom on and then he almost enters without it on and is like are you sure? Are you really sure you want me to use it I was like yes or I'm moving he eventually put it on and we started having sex but luckily we were saved by someone at the door and I didn't have to continue.
I didn't enjoy it and actually felt so shit during.
I was silent for a while and then told him what the issue is and he apologised and was like I've never been accused of anything like this. He apologised yes but was subtly acting like I'm overreacting.
I obviously take responsibility for not talking up during the moment but at the same time this guy is almost a foot taller than me and even though he's not been violent before I hate that I'm always hyper aware of the power dynamics.
We've continued speaking but I've realised its a deal-breaker and for my own peace of mind I want to explain ( with resources) why what he did wasn't okay.
I've been sexually assaulted in the past and even though in this situation I didn't say no directly to sex, I absolutely had to say no multiple times to not having sex without a condom. It's like he tried to coerce me into having condomless sex.
In total I said no at least 3 times.
Does anyone have any advice?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of years, and more so recently. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I felt brave enough to call out these poor behaviours in anyone outside of my immediate family. I’ve even had occasion to call it out in the workplace (it was bias against a woman, and I did it in a non-threatening way) over the last few years. I talk frequently to my foster daughter, who is indigenous herself, about allyship and speaking up for others that can’t or don’t feel comfortable speaking up for themselves.
I think about this racism and bias that is being highlighted in various organizations and in society as a whole, and while I’m not an active participant, I sort of feel like it’s implicit participation or agreement if I DON’T say something now. I guess I’m wondering how often others speak up, or is it “not your business”?