Social media gets you high in 2 ways:
1) you are liked and noticed by other people
2) you get to judge others constantly, and decide if you approve or disapprove of them and what they say
These used to be things people had to work for. Social media lets you get them instantly, constantly.
The social media companies have been completely unregulated. The effect of social media on our brains has not been investigated. It's been allowed to creep into every aspect of our lives: work, education, family, friendships, the media, and even the government: all of these now operate through social media.
I don't need a peer-reviewed, double-blind clinical trial to tell you the effect social media has on the brain:
1) Trying to be liked and noticed online puts you in the habit of always being what others want you to be.
2) Fear of being judged by others publicly puts you in the habit of avoiding being what you think others don't want you to be.
3) Making constant judgments of others - reducing all opinion to "like/dislike" - puts the brain in the habit of polarizing ALL issues.
This is based in the science of behavior and addiction.
As social media has dominated more aspects of our lives, our behavior has become more and more warped by it. This is happening to almost EVERYONE, all over the world. It's been happening to me. It's probably happening to you.
If you don't believe it's happening to you, try downloading your facebook or twitter or reddit history (whatever goes back ten-twelve years or so). Try reading your posts, from as far back as they go. I did this, and noticed my own facebook posts changed dramatically in 2013. I had always made fun of people who only talked about politics online - I used to post poetry I'd write, books I'd read, interesting thoughts I had, random stuff that happened to me that day. But suddenly in 2013, ALL my posts became about political issues I'd never cared about before. I remember spending hours typing angrily, being satisfied when I got likes, being upset when I didn't, feeling like nobody should disagree with me. It made me a more paranoid and judgmental person. It had nothing to do with my own personality or interests - it all had to do with what I thought I was supposed to be posting about. I stopped being myself.
You want to know why the country is so polarized? Because over the past decade or so, we have all been groomed into illogical, unnatural, dysfunctional patterns of seeing the worl... keep reading on reddit ➡
So one thing I can’t stand is snobby people who act like the only way to do things is their way. It’s a huge thing in crafting groups. People act high and mighty because of how they learned, the yarn they use, knitting being better than crocheting, etc etc.
I hated the energy in a lot of existing groups, so I started my own. We switched to virtual stuff since Covid started, and I have rules that you have to agree to follow before you can join. One of the rules is to be kind to others, and absolutely NO “snob” behavior.
Everything has been going great, except this pre-existing group of friends joined, and they really push the boundaries of the aforementioned rule. They started dipping their toe with comments about acrylic yarn and how they would NEVER use it, with dramatic “icky!” faces.
Well, they did this again when a new girl joined the group. She was using an acrylic yarn in her project, one of the women asked her what she was using, and then the little clique acted like they weren’t directly remarking while obviously doing it? (This is kind of hard to explain but if you’ve EVER had to deal with mean girls, you know what I’m talking about)
It was like “I just don’t understand how people are STILL using acrylic yarn these days, I mean there are SO many other options… unless you’re still shopping at big box stores instead of indies.”
In the middle of that rant I was just like ‘Hey guys, let’s remember that we’re not here to judge anyone for what they’re using or how they’re using it, okay?”
Well this pissed off the group, because they started arguing with me about how “Nobody was judging anyone” and “Oh so I can’t even have an opinion now?” and “Why are you trying to censor us? We’re having a conversation. If someone doesn’t like it, they can leave.”
I muted everyone and said something like “The rules for this group are very clear, and you have to acknowledge them before you join the call. If there’s an issue, we can talk about it after.”
The women all ended up leaving the group, and I got a bunch of nasty emails and tags on a few social media posts “calling me out” for being “pro-censorship” and “a tyrant” and saying how I shouldn’t be in charge of anything because of how “obviously biased” I am.
I don’t think I’m in the wrong for this. My rules exist to make things welcoming for others. Sitting around putting down other people does NOT feel like it’s very welcoming, especially for snobby crap like they were doing.
Edit: only works if we’re willing*
Title pretty much sums it up. Post that in an exercise/weight loss sub, there's nothing next level about losing weight, especially since most of them are about losing less than 100 lbs. People lose weight all the time, it's great but nothing special and comes of as attention seeking when you post a picture of yourself in a sub for things that are absolutely exceptional.
I keep seeing posts upon post about "So and So posts picture maskless/at a party/on vacation" and everyone in the thread comment on how 'disappointed they are' at this person, or how 'selfish' said person. People say 'This is why COVID is spreading' and 'Instagram likes aren't worth it'. And everyone is 100% right.
But we need to hold people like Hannah G(who's posted MULTIPLE party pictures) accountable for these actions. They don't care about your disappointed as long as they still have you as a follower. You give them the power. Unfollow them and you take it away. It's ALL these social media influencers have. If they lose their followers, they lose what little fame they have, and then the sponsors. And then people like Hannah G, Kaitlyn, Caila, Tia, and all the rest(beyond Bachelor Nation) will realize 'Wait, posting these pictures of being irresponsible and endangering others will make me LESS famous? OH NO!"
My husband and I have a 6 year old son, Sam. Sam is super affectionate to me, because I am super affectionate to him. For practically his whole life we’ve had cuddle time every night, I tuck him in and give him hugs and kisses, I put him on the bus in the morning and kiss him goodbye, and when he doesn’t feel good I let him curl up with me on the couch and hold my hand. So it’s not uncommon for him to randomly tell me he loves me, or come plant a kiss on my forehead while I’m just sitting down - This is just how we’ve always been with each other.
By contrast, my husband isn’t a very touchy feely person and therefore our son doesn’t show him the same affection. Don’t get me wrong - my husband is a great father and Sam loves him, but he shows his love with tickles, and wrestling, and Sam climbs all over him like a human jungle gym. That’s their kind of love.
Today Sam wasn’t feeling well so I kept him home from school and we cuddled. When my husband came home he kept trying to cuddle with Sam as well, but he only wanted me. This made my husband feel bad (understandably) and said that it looks like Sam loves me more than him. I told him that’s not true at all, but that kids emulate the behavior that they experience, and since husband isn’t affectionate most of the time (there are definitely some times where he is), Sam isn’t affectionate back because he doesn’t associate that behavior with his father. I told him that Sam shows him love when they goof off with each other.
My husband said that I am making him sound like he’s a bad father and that I should force Sam to give him hugs and kisses, but I refused because I think Sam has the right to choose who he is physically affectionate with. He apparently vented to his mom and sister, who have both taken his side.
So Reddit - am I the asshole?
Edit : thanks for all the great advices y'all have given me I'm very thankful i will make an update soon .
So 2 nights ago someone kept messaging me and my(m20) phone kept getting notifications i was cuddling with my girlfriend(f20) and after a while it was getting annoying i went on to check on my phone to see who it is i casually opened my phone it was a group that my friends had added me to a group and then my gf grabbed the phone out of my hand checked all my messages and contacts gave it back to me and then hugged me . it was so awkward and i was confused she told me for the past 2 weeks she thought that i have been cheating on her because we didn't have sex for a month because of a situation . i was shocked that she even considered i might cheat on her she is hot I'll never even think about it .
should i be concerned ? I'm not experienced is this a normal thing for girls to do ? ( sorry about my English btw it's not my native language )
My mom and my wife have never gotten along. I’ve always been firmly on my wife’s side but my mom gets a lot of support from other family members. I find my mom kind of annoying but I don’t think she is as much of a JN as my wife thinks so I wanted some perspective.
she doesn’t get or do anything for our kids birthdays because she says we don’t do anything for hers. We don’t but they are kids
she was told not to baby snatch. Guess who never picked up the baby again?
she is annoying as fuck at Christmas making sure everyone is aware that she got better/more gifts
she occasionally tells me that she feels bad for me because my wife doesn’t cook and isn’t “doting” but I shut that down immediately
she did not want my then six year old sister (the flower girl) photographed and told the photographer she would ruin him if she saw a single picture of her underaged daughter. Just for context my mom posts pictures of my sister on social media but my mom wasn’t allowed in the pictures and said she couldn’t be either
she used to say that my wife was rude for never offering her stuff when she came over and not bending over backwards for her but she doesn’t come over anymore
I just want outside perspective on how bad she actually is. My wife is mainly upset about the kids birthdays and acts like my mom is the worst person in the world
I'm interested to hear your stories of pushing yourself too hard or pushing through pain and regretting it.
Mine was ~5 years ago. Had some dull non-specific pain on one side of my torso
Start my run, dull pain turns to stabbing pain with every step
"well damn, this hurts, maybe I'll do something with less bounce, like the stairmaster"
**starts on stairsmaster, wincing in pain** "wtf is this"
my co-worked comes over. "hey girl, wow..... you look really pale"
push through 10 minutes, finally listen to my body.
as we're leaving, ask my friend to help me open the door because I literally can't even do that
go to chiropractor. surely something is just out of place!
Chiropractor starts feeling around - "Hmm your rib isn't supposed to move like this, let's get you imaged"
Sure enough, a fuckin displaced rib fracture. And I was trying to run and do pulls ups and other sh!t.
I listen to my body now!
I know it's kinda passive-aggressive, but I would lie if I would not admit that I get a kick from it. I guess it just makes me feel superior somehow, lol.
Hello, /r/bangtan! We come with a quick talk about a rising surge we’ve been noticing in both comments and submissions.
First, we’d like to remind everyone that we’re all fans of seven very talented individuals. In addition to the many accomplishments they have as a team, each one of them also has individual achievements, activities, talents, and many aspects worth celebrating. Celebrating and complimenting individual members is wonderful. However, some users can forget BTS is a team of seven and have trouble supporting all members. We’re talking, of course, about akgaes and/or solo stans.
We’ve seen some increased akgae/solo stan behavior on the sub lately and wanted to take a minute to discuss both how the community can shut down this behavior and avoid mistakenly accusing people of being solos or akgaes.
##What is akgae/solo stan behavior?
There is a difference between having a bias and being a solo stan. You can have an affinity towards X, meaning having him as a bias, while still loving and supporting the rest of the group. This is being a normal fan.
Solo stan behaviour starts once you begin bashing or downplaying either the whole group or other members in favour of your bias in an antagonising manner. As examples, saying the following vehemently and fighting anyone who politely disagrees with you: “I love all of them, but Chimmy should have been center in 'Who’s a Good Boi with Luv' since they deserve it more!” or “Why is Koya here? This is TATA’s song! I know because their father told me.”
When you proceed to talk about why a member deserves more of something than another and turn the comment chain into a petty, childish war, that’s when you know you’re a solo stan and it makes the mods feel like they’re helping run a daycare. 👉😎👉
An akgae is someone who hates everyone in the group besides their bias and thinks he can do better alone. The line between solo stan and akgae gets thinner everyday...
##Report akgae and/or solo stan behavior.
If you see what you believe to be solo stan behavior, report it. If their comment breaks subreddit rules, we’ll remove it immediately. We realize that solo stan behavior can be a little more insidious though. Often, their comments don’t directly break any rules, but are suspiciously skewed towards a single member all the time, making the overall environment uncomfortable for other users. We acknowledge there are solo stans here, and while we wouldn't ban someone solely on suspicion... keep reading on reddit ➡
Stuff like Canadian Inferiority complex needing to bring up how much better they are than the US even though it's totally unneeded, example: "nice sunset" "yEaH wAy BeTtEr tHaN tHe Us". It annoys me so much.
Btw if you haven't been subject to this and are curious what its like, go to r/AskACanadian