I am a heterosexual male in my mid 20s and I very unfortunately have and suffer from a deviant (non-offending) sexual attraction to minors (in addition to attraction to adult women) and I am privately and voluntarily seeking help for the betterment of myself and society. I am getting better.
I know this type of thing gets posted every once in a blue moon, but I wanted to share my story and get it off my chest.
I want to stress, I know and understand the thoughts and feelings I have are bad and never acceptable to be neglected or acted upon. I know what, why, and how it is all wrong. I understand how wrong child abuse is. I detest those who are so sick and too lost with feelings similar to mine that they have delusional thinking and try to defend their feelings and actions. I am not them, nor support their thoughts, actions, or stand by them. I am non-offending and do not support offenses to minors or a decrease in protective laws for children, nor a push for acceptance/normalization of child abuse or any of that stuff. I wanted to clarify that.
Note: I am in private voluntary psychotherapy for my issue, and not in the legal system; nor have I been accused of or committed any crimes; nor have I ever been reported by professionals to law enforcement as no crimes have been committed. I am a non-offender. A few years ago I personally voluntarily sought professional help for a deviant sexual attraction I have towards minors; and I’m still in help to this day to be a better person.
Even though I am attracted to adult (legal age) women and have healthy relationships with them, for as long as I remember and as I self-discovered primarily in my late teens to early 20s, I felt different from others and noticed I had odd feelings, as I had a strange abnormal sexual attraction to girls from pre-teens to adulthood (no younger than age 8). At first when I was young I never did anything about it as I didn’t suspect much of it. I figured I’d grow out of it. I certainly never acted on it. And I never told anyone until I brought it up to a therapist when I was older.
I was never sexually abused and I grew up in a very safe, loving, and financially well-off home - seemingly oddly contradictory to what people would typically think of as causing said deviant attraction. As I got older I noticed the odd attraction I had was becoming more “real” to me and not going away like I had hoped ..so it became more concerning. I soon became very c... keep reading on reddit ➡
If a girl is into me there's no need to say the right thing, it all comes out naturally. You can tell by their body language if they look interested or not. If a girl isn't feeling me I don't waste my time trying to convince her otherwise. Sure maybe working on your game can increase your attraction but that puts the pressure on you to come off right. If you see it from the start she's pretty much there for you to grab. All you have to do is carry on a regular conversation.
After her surgery I’m leaving the hype train. Doesn’t even look real. Bad surgery.
My players are going to be visiting the palace of a demon lord of pleasure who's more CN than CE. I want to show that despite his title, he represents all forms of pleasure and good feelings, not just sex.
Also space in his realm doesn't work the same way as it does in the mortal plane. He essentially has an infinite amount of space to work with and can customize it as he pleases, so there are no size constraints.
Bucket list ideas for your state! Anything is helpful! My current list is 24 pages long and it’s not even halfway done!
I’ll post my interests in the comments as my post was originally removed due to length.
For years, one of my favorite WDW attractions was Test Track. Who doesn't love that dramatic, wind in the hair blast down the final straightaway before curving around the front of the World of Motion building? But lately, it's not a must-ride in my eyes.
Never mind the fact that the same experience can be achieved by driving a Miata down the interstate at less-than-legal speeds. Maybe it's my aging bones talking but thrashing around the sim car's tight, hard plastic interior through tight corners with odd bursts of acceleration and panic braking makes Test Track feel like getting into an Uber driven by an 80 year-old who's never before been in the neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, I'll still willingly experience Test Track when I'm at Epcot, but it's not something I lament skipping if the right opportunity doesn't present itself. In other words, I won't endure an 80 minute wait when I can use that time for Living With The Land, Spaceship Earth, and a half hour inside The Living Seas.
Honorable mentions: Soarin' (since the film "upgrade") and Space Mountain.
Anyone else hate to admit something quite stack up these days?
I'm a 28 year old straight woman and my husband is a 30 year old straight man. After we got married he revealed to me that he likes to cross dress sometimes and shave his legs. I love him so much... But I'm just not attracted to him when he's dressed as a woman. I don't think there's anything wrong with cross dressing, people can do whatever they want. I just don't know how to tell him I'm not attracted to him when he's in women's clothes. Maybe I'm a bad person. Am I being judgmental and small minded? I literally can't talk about it with anyone I know because it's his deepest secret.
After reading the comments on this thread, I knew that I needed to go have a talk with my husband. I told him everything I was feeling- that I am not attracted to him when he is dressed as a woman, that I feel like he is a different person when he is dressed really femininely, and that it upsets me that he didn't tell me before we were married. I also told him that part of me is afraid that he is trans and will end up leaving me. Just saying it all was really really helpful, and he was incredibly receptive to what I was saying.
We then discussed the points individually. He told me that he didn't tell me about it before we were married because of deep shame that kept him from admitting it to even himself. I think that our relationship was the only time he's ever felt safe to express his feminine side, before us it was suppressed. Also, he knows he is not trans. He told me that he has really thought about that a lot. And I believe him- in general trans people consistently, persistently, and insistently KNOW their gender from a very young age. He did mention that he has been exploring his gender though because he feels comfortable with HE but he also feels comfortable with THEY, and from what he has told me I wonder if he most closely identifies as pangender.
In regard to the cross dressing, now that he knows how I feel, I think he is going to do his ultra-femme dressing when I am not around. And he is ok with that.
It felt SO GOOD to honestly tell him that I am not attracted to him when he looks really femme, and he took it really well. I'm grateful to the people who commented and helped me feel like I'm not a bad person XD
Could be a physical attribute, personality, etc. Something that is a 'must have' unless the girl is a very special case
For me personally, confidence is almost required. Ironic since I don't have much of it, but I find confident women much more attractive than shy women.
I feel sexual attraction to all genders, however the thought of any genders genitalia or the thought of having sex with anyone absolutely repulses me. Would I still be on the ace spectrum or is this something else?
This realization hit me like a truck the other day. I’ve dated hvm before who were attractive and met my standards of attractiveness, but I’ve also dated lvm/nvm who absolutely did not meet them. I thought that they were nice, “iNtElLiGeNt”, friendly, and okay enough personality wise that I could ignore the obvious lack of physical attraction I had to them. I was out of all of their leagues, and it was quite obvious to everyone, including myself which I was in denial about. I’m done giving men I’m not attracted to a “chance” because they have an okay personality. Most of them turned out to have an awful personality in the relationship, and when I took the rose-colored glasses off, I realized they offered me literally nothing and I wasn’t even attracted to them. I’ve decided to make a list of my requirements of physical attraction for men, and ones I will not settle on anymore:
-no balding/bald men or thin hair/receding hairlines
-short men (5”6 or below)
-overly muscular men/gym rats
-bad sense of style (can’t wear anything but T-shirt’s, cargo pants/shorts, owns no sweaters/nice shirts/dress attire, owns no shoes other than boots or sneakers/beat up vans) and permanently dresses like they’re 15 in their 20s-30s
-if they have hair, doing absolutely nothing with it so it looks like a mop on their head/doesn’t get haircuts
-no long facial hair or unkempt facial hair (long, scraggly unkempt dirty beards that smell terrible and are straight up disgusting, not shaving for months on ends despite how it looks)
-having really bad skin and refusing to do anything about it (I have adult acne as well, but I try to manage it with diet/skin care routines)
-refusing to dress nicely even for special occasions because it’s “not their style”- I once had to beg a guy to put on a dress shirt when my parents were taking us to dinner
-not using aftershave, only using body wash or soap that doubles as shampoo or conditioner, not using lotion on dry skin, not using hair products when you need to, not wearing cologne on special occasions or if we’re going out
-and at the VERY LEAST, you gotta wear deodorant (that was an issue I’ve witnessed previously), cutting your damn nails/WASHING UNDER THEM, same goes for toenails, showering daily, washing your face twice a day, brushing your teeth/using mouthwash twice a day, washing your damn ass and making sure that area is clean, also washing your dick/balls- literally no one wants to ever smell/taste/witness that uncleaned... keep reading on reddit ➡
this might sound strange but i deadass used to think sexual attraction was one big joke or just an exaggeration. it’s like when people say someone took forever when they’ve just been taking 5 extra mins, that what i thought it was. whenever my sisters would say i guy on tv was so hot or fawn over him, i’d be like “yeah totally, totally” or sm. like i would see people be so “turned on” by someone they’ve just seen and just assumed that they were joking or trying to exaggerate but they were serious. turns out the joke was on me
I am borderline a-sexual, although we’ve had talks over this to understand each other better, he states that it doesn’t take away from him wanting me all the time, he would even masterbate before seeing me for the day to avoid causing me discomfort. This relationship is fairly new (half year) and we are having sex 3-4 times a week. The issue is my view on performing this act is now seen as a “duty”, is this normal? How do I shift my attitude?
Why YSK: With “I’m Feeling Lucky,” users will be taken somewhere among tens of thousands of notable tourist spots only with the click of a button by Google Earth. After having arrived at a point of interest, you can also open a Knowledge Card to learn more about the history and facts of that place and have a look at some of the pictures. Just discovered this feature and I am more than ecstatic to share it with you guys!
I am a 27 yo male who’s always been attracted to older women. I have owned homes from a young age and had my first kid at 22 (was married at the time).
Put another way, are ambitious and responsible younger men more attractive than those who live without major responsibilities and in a more carefree way? Of course there’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it seems like that’s part of the appeal.
Let me know your honest thoughts!
Together our whole adult lives (14 years), married for 7 of those. No children. Essentially, my husband has lost interest in sex over the past couple years. We've never been super sexual but at least had sex fairly regularly in the past. Yesterday I sat down with him and we had a chat. It was hard for him to say this, but he confessed that he has lost sexual attraction to me. I asked him if there was any specific reason and he said he didn't know. I asked him what sexual attraction meant and he said that he doesn't look at me and think "damn she's sexy" anymore.
And this is where things were weird for me. Because I told him that this was surprising, as I haven't felt that way about him in like...twelve years maybe? I love my husband, I find him physically attractive, but he himself doesn't 'turn me on'. I don't have sex with him because I think 'damn he's sexy', I do because I love him, I feel loved with him, and it's a way of emotionally bonding and sharing closeness. I told him this and he was taken aback. He does feel emotionally close to me during sex but his main impetus for having it was being physically turned on by me. Maybe this is a man vs woman thing? No idea.
Anyway, is there any way to fix this? Is this simply a new stage of our relationship? Or is this a death knell? Neither of us want to leave, the bond between us is still so strong. Maybe celibacy is our way forward? Does anyone have experience with this?
I’ve previously been anxious attachment (mind you only with guys I’m truly interested in - although I’ve stayed with others just for the pure notion that they were attracted to me. Self esteem perils through and through).
After reading the ‘Attached’ book last year, it completely changed my life and the way I understood my situations and behaviours. And have strived to cut off attachment style trigger guys.
I then met a guy in September who has an extremely secure attachment style. The beginning has been great and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. That continues to be the case for him but my feelings are starting to come into the ‘is this boring phase?’
I’m thinking back about the previous guys I was seeing and sexually idolising them as I deemed them more attractive and therefore more exciting.
I’m trying hard to remember I was very attracted to my partner just a few months ago - I just can’t help but feel boring also diminishes sexual attraction. Thinking back to the last serious relationship I had where I didn’t realise it was fairly secure at the time, the same thing happened but I also ended up being unfaithful due to the same lack of desire.
I really want to be better and break these patterns.
How do you deal with that element of adapting when you’re mind is already tricking you about this not being that exciting? I want to do right by my secure boyfriend - but not sure if it’s run it’s course or I’m just mentally foggy and triggered.
I know...there’s always a “But” and trust me, there is one. I’m a BS (Betrayed Spouse) and today, (at work again 🤦🏽♂️) I had the opportunity to “stray“ with someone that to be honest, is “banging “. She made absolutely no qualms about her interest nor cared that I told her I was married. Again, I’m the BS. I well remember what I suffered Emotionally and Mentally during and after DDAY. I honestly do not believe, that WS’s can truly comprehend that pain and feeling of loss (but back to my topic) we engaged in chit chat which always on her part, lead back to something that would be inappropriate, for a married person to be discussing with anyone other, than their spouse. Again, having gone through this shit show before, our “chit chat” was immediately eliminated. I was polite but I absolutely was adamant about where I stood and left it at that.
Again... I’m the BS. Notice, I didn’t use some of the “excuses” I’ve been reading about lately, as to justify why I should step out on my WS. Sure I could’ve told myself “hey, turn about is fair play. She hurt you to the core and had her fun at your expense. There’s nothing wrong with you now choosing to dabble” or the infamous “I’m hurting, all I can think about is the thought of my WS fucking her AP over and over again”. Nope. I didn’t let any of that bullshit enter into my mind, you know why? Because I CHOOSE NOT TO. Just as many of you, can do.
Understand, that we (the BS’s) aren’t on some morally superior shit. Nor or we snubbing the WS’s that truly seek reconciliation and forgiveness. But damn! It’s not hard. Fucking exercise common Decency, Self Respect, Consideration and SELF CONTROL. See? Fucking EASY. (Unless of course you don’t have any of the above qualities?🤷🏽♂️
I've seen some other folks on here who have trouble figuring out how they define their sexuality because they don't have an aversion towards men, but they're also not attracted to them the same way they are with women. To help me with this, I made myself an attraction log. Yep. Sounds silly but I've only been using it for 1 day and it's EYE OPENING.
How it works: it's basically a t-chart. In one column, I write a detailed description of what sparked my interest. Other column, I unpack my attraction/desire feelings with the following prompts...
Men fascinate me, and I feel drawn to some of them, but I've come to realize that this is SO NOT THE SAME as the desire and fixation I have for women & non-binary people. Here's an example of an entry.
|Femme barista has a lot of tattoos, a hot pink mullet, lot's of piercings, and is super confident. Great laugh, great arms, super hot.||If these features were on a man I'd probably find them cool, but I wouldn't be as fixated on them. I'd totally love to be this person, but also I just want to hang out with them & get to know them as they are. I know this is actual desire because I feel it in my gut. I'm nervous, staring, feel shy, etc. (enter NSFW thoughts).|
|Conventionally attractive man in a movie has nice dimples & seems sweet.||I really just wanna be this guy's friend! He seems approachable & kind. I think society thinks I should be attracted to him, but I can't imagine myself having sex with him.|
I've posted here before, but a little background for context: I've been in 3 long-term relationships with men, hooking up with other men in between, and only even been with women when I was much younger or under the influence. I have MAJOR internalized homophobia, was raised by my mother to uphold the male gaze, and didn't have a dad for the majority of my upbringing (other than my mom's frequent turnover of codependent boyfriends). Soooo I've started to come to terms with the fact that when I'm drawn to men, it's because I crave a comforting m... keep reading on reddit ➡
(Tl:dr just read the title i guess.)This was the original design of the body positivity movement, before that one movement that I don't think I can name without getting my post removed for mentioning bs*ty. Part of why I think this is the way it should be is because attraction IS subjective. Some people might be attracted or unattracted to me just because I'm overweight or short or cut my hair into boyish styles, but that's not an issue. The issue comes when people decide to be rude to someone because they find aspects of that person unattractive. The second part of my problem with the "everyone's attractive" thing is, what are you supposed to say to a 12 year old who's overweight? "Oh don't worry, your rolls are sexy!" Like ew, no! That's about as bad as calling them whatever derogatory word people are using to tear down overweight people nowadays. Not to mention, it's SO messed up to bring down a CHILD for their weight when they're not the ones feeding themselves and most eating disorders occur in younger and/or more impressionable people, of which children are both. I don't really have a conclusion for this i mostly just needed to get this off my mind.