I was on vacation for Memorial Day Weekend, on my flight back that’s when this happened. The flight attendant came around and gave everyone a drink and a bag of goldfish and a biscuit. I ate my biscuit however I wanted to keep my goldfish in case I got hungry later on in my trip (flight was short). The mom next to me then is like my son is hungry can he have your goldfish.
Now in normal circumstances I would gladly give my goldfish up, but a couple things. I saw her eat her sons pack and his. And second this lady was taking up a lot of my seat too (she honestly should have been required to buy two seats). She just was super entitled, like the way she asked me too was more of a demand than an ask.
So when she asked I was like sorry, I am saving these for later. She then gets loud to where other people can hear us, and is like my child is hungry and you aren’t sharing the food you don’t even want to eat. I then pointed out mam, you ate your son’s goldfish. Do you even want these for your son or are you going to eat these too?
She gets angrier says some more stuff, I put on my AirPods Pro with noise cancellation and continue on. The flight attendant comes and tells her she can purchase a snack for her son.
*edit : Radar not reader
Disclaimer: I’ve only ever flown cheap Russian airlines, so I have no idea about the situation in the rest of the world, but it’s probably even better.
This opinion is kind of hard to explain because tastes are personal, but basically I think airplane food is not only good but also superior to regular food you can get in a restaurant or cook at home. Here are my extremely subjective reasons:
- It has a unique taste you can’t get anywhere else. Apparently because of the high altitude and dry air the food doesn’t taste as prominent as regular food. You may not like it, but I absolutely love it. It makes the food taste just so much better for me, and I would be incredibly happy if there was a way to recreate it at home.
- It’s given to you in a small portion that’s just enough to make you feel satisfied. You have make the best out of little things you have and enjoy them.
- It’s presented at the best time possible. After you’ve gone through all of the nightmare that is modern airport and waited through a portion of the flight, you get hungry and sad, but then you’re given a little nice present in form of some interesting food. Isn’t that nice?
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
Recently I was flying back from a trip to my grandparents place and I had a fun time. On our flight back, I get out my computer, and start playing a game on an emulator. My cool mom was sitting next to me in the middle seat.
The game was Rhythm Heaven, so I was rhythmically pressing the button on my controller and having a great time, jamming out with my headphones.
Anyway, this middle-aged woman turns around with the karen haircut and everything. (we'll call her Susan')
Susan yells "What is that noise?" and turns around to my mother and says:
"Can she mute that game!?!?" (I'm Male, and 15, but I have long hair so it's easy to misgender me)
My mother said "HE isn't kicking your chair, and there isn't any sound coming from his game. You can turn around, and put on some headphones. ~Byeeeee!"
Meanwhile, Susan's husband elbowed her and said to her basically the exact same thing my mother said.
The people in front of Susan probably heard what was happening, and they then proceeded to crinkle their plastic water bottle for the next hour of the flight which was way louder than my button pressing.
The funny part was, I actually didn't hear any of the interaction because I was having too much fun.
TL;DR: Susan is annoyed by a tiny noise, says some dumb BS, my cool mother tells her to piss off, and she gets to enjoy a much louder noise.
But something was wrong, why was the earth getting farther away instead of closer?
He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly. "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy when you don't know crap?" Then she went back to reading her book.
My son has one of those Camelbak drinks with the rubber straw that folds down when you're not using it. The cup was filled about halfway, give or take 10 ounces of water (295ml).
So the plane takes off and we hit our cruising altitude of around 41,000 feet (12,496m). Well, my son gets thirsty and wants his drink, so I rummage through my bag and get it for him. I obviously wasn't thinking about how much pressure had built up inside of the closed cup.
The moment I snapped open the rubber straw, the entire contents of the cup immediately and violently sprayed straight up to the top of the cabin and soaked everyone within a 3 row radius of my seat, as well as a passing flight attendant. To say I was mortified would be a serious understatement. I hung my head in shame for the remainder of the flight as water droplets gathered on the ceiling and dripped on everyones head.
TL;DR: I opened a drink on an airplane. The built-up pressure caused it to spray everyone on the plane.
for a funny video i’m working on
(Revised)
This story belongs to my Beautiful Wife, but since it is from many decades ago, from a time before we knew each other, we will here call her Classy Flight Attendant.
But first the usual disclaimers: As the format, spelling and grammar are likely all crap, I respectfully request that any criticism of them be submitted in ASL. Thank you.
The Setup:
Classy Flight Attendant is at this time one of the top tier flight attendants for her country's National Airline.
Of course, as with any job, you meet all kinds at work. Today's story concerns one particular pilot who we will call Captain Ricardo (Captain Dick for short). Captain Dick likes things the way he likes them. He wants all of the flight attendants in his flight crew to be attractive women. He doesn't think men should be flight attendants. He doesn't think ugly (by his definition) people should be flight attendants. He is not ashamed to mock or ridicule people who he feels have no business in the job.
Of course, no matter how Captain Dick wants things, the staffing of the entire airline does not revolve around his wishes. He gets the crew he gets, like it or not.
The Crime:
On the occasion in question, one of the flight attendants assigned to Captain Dick's crew is so spectacularly unattractive to him that he picks up the intercom on the plane while the crew is preparing the flight and asks who thought that she would be ever be attractive enough to fly for him? He follows that with all sorts of jeers and name calling, finally going so far as to order security to physically remove her from the plane. She departs in tears and does not fly with Captain Dick that day.
Well, this is just too much. When a number of flight attendants get together later, they discuss Captain Dick. He needs to be reminded how much he relies on his flight crew. They are not there just to please his ego. They serve an important function in the operation of the plane and the airline.
Classy Flight Attendant is there, and notes that she will be on a long flight with Captain Dick in a couple days. She knows what needs to be done, but tells the other ladies that the less they know, the better.
The Revenge:
On the day of that flight, she arrives early and seeks assignment to the cockpit. On long flights on a jumbo jet, there is one flight attendant who attends only to the cabin crew (the pilot, copilot and engineer) so that they can focus on successfully executing the flight. As per normal, Captain Dic
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We are currently filming the pilot
