So, its been a few days since my original post. Everyone was so kind, helpful and supportive. I recieved so many messages and I want to thank each one of you for them. They meant more to me than you know.
Well, I've left my husband. And it really wasn't over this one incident, but really a build up of many. Before I even made the post, I wasn't completely blind to what he had been doing in terms of control. As weird as it seems, sometimes I just forget I am an adult and I don't have to just 'yes sir' and listen to any man thats older than me. I'm an adult now. I make my own rules. I feel sick saying this, but I realize I had been viewing him as a parental figure and not a partner. It kind of makes my stomach twist to even type that, but that is what it is. I don't really want to analyze it right now, its too gross.
I'm honestly going through a really tough grieving time right now. I feel like such a failure. What's worse is that he does not care in the least. When I called him to tell him I was leaving, he said "Ok. Let me know when you want to grab your stuff, we can have you moved out ASAP." And that was it. That was all he said before he hung up the phone. I'm really hurting. I loved him so much, and I think part of me just wanted to see if he was willing to fight for me and apologize. He was not, so thats that.
But, although I'm hurting, I feel free. My mom has welcomed me back, shes so happy I am divorcing him. I got together with my friends who he wouldn't let me see. I watched tv shows he told me were too childish. And Ive been wearing ugly sweatpants and oversize tshirts that he always said made me "look like a man."
So thank you, all of you. I got a wakeup call I desperately needed. I don't even WANT to be a housewife. I never wanted that for me (no hate on anyone who does, honestly guys it was hard and lonely work). I am going to get my RN, and then move on to my masters. You've all encouraged me in the best way possible.
Edit: Fucking hell this blew up. I barely ever get more than a few hundred upvotes and usually it's in single or double figures, and I post all sorts of random shite in so many different subs. Thanks for all the upvotes and comments, (edit: and awards and follows,) I appreciate them. Also, the noodles were really tasty and I ate them, so it wasn't really much of a problem, but it was definitely British.
Edit 2: It took me bloody ages to reply to all these comments. It's 10 to 4 in the morning now. I'm nocturnal now. Not the first time.
Edit 3: I'm still replying to loads of comments. Stop commenting! I'm getting too many notifications! Jk comment all u want, I don't wanna sleep now anyway because I'll miss out on โจโ๏ธdaylight.โ๏ธโจ I'll have to get an early night. No sleep gang. It's 5 in the bloody morning already. ๐๐คฆ๐ฝโโ๏ธ
Edit 4: For all the people who don't get it, basically in parts of the UK we call the meals breakfast, dinner and tea, instead of breakfast, lunch and dinner, so when my mum asked me if I wanted tea, she meant a meal, but I thought she meant tea as in the hot drink, which is what I did want, so I got a plate of noodles instead of a brew.
Edit 5: Someone posted this on r/awardspeechedits, so here's another unnecessary edit, just to piss them off. And here's some more unnecessary emojis with no significance whatsoever, I'm just gonna hit the emoji keyboard randomly: ๐คฃ๐๐๐๐๐คฉ๐คฌ๐ก๐ฅบ๐ค๐ค ๐๐ต๐๐คฎ๐ธ๐ค ๐ค๐ชโ๏ธ๐ค๐ค๐ช๐ค๐ฉ๐ฝ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐งโ๐ฆฑ๐ฑโโ๏ธ๐ฑโโ๏ธ๐ทโโ๏ธ๐ทโโ๏ธ๐๐โโ๏ธ๐ฉโ๐ซ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ๐คถ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ง๐ปโ๐ฆฝ๐ฏ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐ง๐ฉโ๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐ง๐ฉโ๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅผ๐ฅผ๐งฆ๐ฉฒ๐๐ฆง๐ฆง๐ฆง๐๐๐ฝ๐ก๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐ป๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ ๐๐พ๐ฝ๐ฆ๐งฐ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฆ๐ช๐ช๐ณ๐กโ๏ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐งก๐๐๐๐๐ธ๐๐ธ๐ ฐ๏ธ๐๏ธโด๏ธ๐๐ฏ๐ผโ๐โ๏ธ๐บ๐ณ๐ ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐จ๐ง๐ฒ๐จ๐ฒ๐ง๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ง๐ฏ๐ง๐ณ๐ง๐น๐จ๐ฎ๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฎ๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ซ๐จ๐ฟ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ซ๐น๐ด๐ช๐ธ๐น๐ด๐ฑ๐จ๐ง๐พ๐ง๐น๐ง๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ณ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ช๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฑ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ธ๐บ๐พ๐น๐ด๐ฌ๐ง๐น๐ฟ๐น๐ฒ
Edit 6: Idk what to write, I just wanted to edit it again.
Edit 7: I just realised I missed loads of notifications from over a day ago because there were so many and most of them were on this post. I'm trying to reply to all the comments.
Edit 8: Sorry about all the edits. Are you still reading them at this point?
Edit 9: Have you read it? This post on Reddit? Every single edit? I'm a poet and I didn't even know it.
Edit 10: Here's another edit, just to get it to double figures.
Edit 11: I'm not gonna make any more edits now.
Edit 12: Oh shit I just did.
Edit 13: I'm a bloody idiot me.
Edit 14 Okay last
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Hey all I thought I would share one of my favorite stories of following someone's request and making them rethink their words
The main players are Me, My younger brother and, the teacher we will call Mr. Shane
This happened in highschool in my senior year and is my favorite story of being a smartass. We had this teacher we will call Mr. Shane, he was an older, very strict teacher who came to my rural midwest town from inner city Chicago so he thought he could handle just about anything a student threw at him.
No one liked Mr Shane. He was rude, loud and for him if you didn't do what he said it was a one way ticket to the office. Even the principal got tired of him sometimes. I was a quiet, nerdy, metalhead teenager who was on track to graduate early and earn a couple awards from the district. I put forth effort to get along with everyone. My younger brother hated Mr Shane for many reasons. Like reading mine and his IEPs (very confidential stuff normally) in front of the class and managed to get away with it. Needless to say Mr Shane was incredibly unpopular.
I used to bring a can of arizona tea with me to school because it's dirt cheap and actually pretty tasty. If you've had it you will understand how good it can be. Mr Shane had a problem with this because I'm pretty sure if he wasn't asserting his dominance he thought he wasn't doing his job. I didn't distract people with the tea but he was fed up with me and my brother calling him out on his stuff so one day he told me not to bring any more because I "Didn't bring enough for everyone else".
Challenge accepted. The very next day I stopped at the grocery store on my way to school and picked up two gallons of arizona green tea, along with red solo cups. I let slip to one of my best friends that's also in the class and he could barely contain his excitement.
When time for class came Mr. Shane walked in and looked smug, up until he saw me giving my classmates arizona green tea. I even offered him a glass and he exploded in anger and sent me to the office, before confiscating all my tea and cups. When I told the secretaries they laughed and sent me in to talk to the vice principal. The vice principal was incredibly amused by my story and a few minutes later my brother came into the office as well, with the gallons of tea and cups. Apparently Mr Shane lost it and was ranting to himself the rest of the school day over "Disrespectful students".
He stopped teaching after that school year and I li
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I lost my part time job due to COVID and I've basically become a little housewife. I'm fine with that, as thats always been my role in my relationship anyways, its just less hard to keep up with now. I'm also in school for nursing, but obviously I'm doing that from home.
My husband works full time and works hard. His commute to work is very long--over an hour each way. We go running together every day, and because I know its a lot of stress for him, we meet 20 minutes away from our home so he doesn't have to come home and drive back out. He calls me when hes 20 mins away, and I leave.
Today, I was 7 minutes late as I had to turn off all the lights and get myself together before leaving the house. When I got there, he copped a MAJOR attitude with me for being late. Refused to even speak to me. For being 7 minutes late!!!! I tried to explain that I had to put my shoes on and turn out the lights, but he wouldn't talk to me. The run was very awkward and when we got home, he said that he felt he had every right to be angry, and stomped off upstairs.
I've had a lot of pent up feelings about the fact that he has always expected me to be at his beck and call. Its like he thinks the whole world revolves around his time schedule because I lost my job. Anytime hes hungry, thirsty...he yells my name. He doesn't even serve his own PLATES anymore. Its like he thinks I just sit in the dark with my hands folded, waiting for him to call. At this point, I knew he was being ridiculous, and I was just so upset...that I did something that may make me the asshole.
When he came downstairs, I told him that he could make his own dinner, his own lunch tomorrow for work, and I looked him straight in the eye as I poured the pitcher of sweet tea I make him every week down the drain, and I said "You can make your own f****** sweet tea too, you ungrateful brat." And I walked out and drove to my moms house.
So, AITA for that overreaction? I was just so annoyed.
**Update: I deleted my edits because I wanted to do an update, as I see a lot of kind, wonderful people so concerned about my well being. I want to thank each and every one of you for being so supportive. I don't have any friends any more, and all the messages and comments have made me feel like I have a support group. For now, I am staying at my parents indefinitely. My mom is helping me write a list of all the reasons I'd want to stay, and all the reasons I'd like to leave. I have always been a very independent person and
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Mari, Chelsea, MJ, Serena C, and Abigail do not follow Katie. Katie does follow Abigail. Abigail has made it pretty clear that she stands with Chelsea which really makes me curious about what happened in the house.
We did see clips of (what appeared to be) Abigail laughing along with the bullying, but was edited to only show body, not face - I assume for a possible bachelorette edit and not wanting to lump her into that group.
Mari mentions Katie changing her mind about Sarah after learning new information about her father. Did the rest of the house really not know that? Did Katie not tell anyone? Even still, I would think that watching the show back and seeing the information shared it would be like โohh ok I get it nowโ and just move on. If you didnโt change how you felt after learning about Sarahโs dad then how cruel are you?? Or are they all just salty that she was favored by production/got an ette edit?
Even Victoria and Katie seemed to have squashed their beef so it reeeeally makes me wonder.
ETA: updated link for comments
ETA #2: Abigail and Chelsea are now following Katie
Also, to be clear, I am just curious to learn what exactly what went down behind the scenes that wasnโt aired! I donโt stan Katie or dislike any of the other ones, itโs just that they seem to have a very strong stance that thereโs a lot that people donโt know.
And the Abigail laughing thing could very well have been due to misunderstanding so I take that back!
So this isnโt really tea most likely, but I work in TV which means sometimes I see schedule changes before they are released to listings. They just extended After The Final Rose by 3 minutes.
Read into that what you will, but itโs an hour and three minutes.
Edit: A friendly reminder to extend your DVRs
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