My son Thomas passed away a year ago at the age of 25. He was such a sweet soul. He was kind and sympathetic despite having suffered so much he still had a joyful smile. He wanted to be an engineer. But unfortunately he couldn't continue his education. He was involved in a car accident. Had a sever injury and became paralyzed. I did everything I could to help him regain his life but what happened was devastating. We were spending time at the hospital while my family were getting together celebrating birthdays/weddings etc and excluded me and Thomas. I asked them to show up. at least show emotional support to Thomas but they didn't visit. I took Thomas home and I became his primary carer. I found that Thomas was home 24/7 with no family visiting us even on holidays. Every time I complained my sister would suggest I put Thomas in home care. I stopped begging them to visit and include Thomas in their events and Check in on him. They treated Thomas like he was dead.
He suffered from anemia. It affected his heart function. His health was getting worse. 4 months before he passed away I decided to achieve at least one goal he'd in his mind. He always wanted to get his own yacht and wanted to buy it himself. I sold a land I had for 5 years and I bought a yacht. I told him that it was his. He was overjoyed. We started spending most of his time there. On weekends and on holidays. Til he suddenly passed away and it was devastating. I couldn't visit the yacht til 6 months after his passing. This is where I remember him the most.
My family visited, made facebook tributes, hanged pictures of him and visited his grave. I was still upset with them. I kept my distance but last week my mother and sister were visiting asking if they could use my son's yacht for my sister's wedding this summer. I declined but they talked about how expensive it is to rent a yacht and that mine was perfect. I corrected my sister. Told her that's Thomas's yacht. Thomas who they refused to visit and comfort during his dark times. My sister denied all that and said she didn't come to talk about the past and that as her brother I should help out. I argued with her and my mother after they said I was declining out of spite and called me selfish to punish them for Thomas's death. My brother said I was wrong because the family is keeping his memory alive by talking about him and that I should get therapy otherwise I'll be causing people to cut me out.
I'm sorry if anyone got confused. I'm his fat... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm their daughter :)
edit: trans rights are human rights
My son (13) has recently got into cooking and he's amazing at it. Usually when he was experimenting or making food for just himself he washed up.
He started helping me out with meals, and two times a week now he cooks dinner by himself.
My husband has been insisting he wash his own dishes up, but I usually just wind up doing them. I don't particularly like feeling like I'm doing nothing.
Four nights ago he sat me down and said I need to stop doing our sons chore, he made the mess so he cleans it. He shouldn't be getting away with it.
I replied that while it was true for small, single person meals, it doesn't work the same for family meals. He got huffy about it, at which point I said, "Why does he have to wash up, but I don't?" At which point he got kinda quiet.
He tried excusing his behaviour but each time there was a flaw and he basically huffed off. He came back a couple hours later and said something along the lines of, "We have to make him realise how hard life can be," at which point I basically told him to fuck off.
Here's where I may be the asshole: I implemented a new rule. You have to somehow be a part of dinner in order to eat it.
So, for example, my son makes dinner and I wash the dishes. Therefore we both get to eat it. My husband was angered by this rule, and I replied by telling him to put his rubber gloves on and get cleaning.
So far my son and I have had three amazing meals and my hub has left the house to go eat elsewhere. Our funds are seperate so it has no affect on me.
My son thinks it's pretty cool, (he's always much preferred me over his father, and this bonding time is really important to him), but family think I'm being way too harsh, agreeing that he should do more chores.
I disagree, but no one seems to be on my side, so I come to you, dear Reddit. Am I the asshole?
I have two older siblings. My brother, 32 and my sister, 33. I am 21. I found out i was pregnant last year. Everyone was more than happy for us and congratulated us. Everyone but my sister. My sister had to basically look after me and take on a third parent role and watch me on nights my parents worked or weekends they worked. Because of that, she blamed me and hated me because i was the reason she lost her childhood.
I’ve apologized countless times to her because this topic came up frequently but after a while i gave up trying to make it up to her for something i had no control over. Over and over again i’d get phone calls out of the blue of her reminding me how much i fucked her childhood up and “had no remorse”. (Btw shout out to all of you older siblings who were forced to grow up too soon and look after your little siblings.)
When i announced my pregnancy my sister called me and ruined the moment by bringing up how she had to raise me, how she lost her childhood. Then, she started talking about my unborn child. Saying how i’m having my baby at an early age because i want him to raise his future little siblings like she had to. She continued on how i’d never make a good mom because i didn’t grow up like she did.
I finally had enough of her and went no contact. My son was born last month and everyone has gotten a chance to see him on facetime. My brother and parents were the only ones to see him in person. My sister got in contact with my brother and told him to tell me when she can see him. I told him to tell her she isn’t allowed to see him because of the way she treated me when i was pregnant.
I’m assuming she told our parents this because my dad wants me to let her see my baby. He said let bygones be bygones and stop living in the past and my mom agreed. My fiancé is on my side. My brother is more on her side and only thinks she should apologize for what she said about me being a bad mom (which she’s refused to apologize for because she insists she did nothing wrong) . Im not too keen on letting her see him still. I feel like i’m being an asshole by not allowing her to see him, AITA?
Editing to add my brother also babysat me he always said it wasn’t as bad as my sister makes it out to be. (also adding he didn’t watch me as much as she did when he started to play sports) I barely remember my childhood days i just know she stopped looking after me once i was 8-9.
My parents had me (25F) at a very old age. All my siblings are significantly older than me and they tolerated me for the most part. My oldest sister took it a step further and barely interacted with me. I learned quickly that she disliked me and I kept my space from her afterwards. Although we live in the same town, we didn’t really interact with each other and only talked during family events/calls. Recently my sister lost her job. She is widowed with adult children who live on their own in different cities. My mom begged me to let her move in with me and framed as a chance for us to bond and become actual sisters.
My sister has been living with me for about 7 months now. She doesn’t help with anything, she doesn’t cook, clean or even contribute to utility bills. The only thing she does is play with my son 1 year old. And even then it’s like 15-20 minutes, and if he needs a diaper change or need to be fed, she calls on me. I was making dinner for the three of us, my husband was still at work at this time and my sister was playing in the living room with my son. She called me that I should come and change my son’s diapers. I asked her to please change it since I was cutting vegetables. She said it can wait and that she’s been there and done that. I stopped cooking and changed my son’s diapers. After the dinner was done, I didn’t call my sister to come and eat and I’m sure she got the memo. The next day, I told my sister that I can’t live with her anymore and that she needs to find a new place to live. She called me names. My parents are saying I’m wicked for kicking out my own sister and so are my siblings. They also said that my sister isn’t my nanny and it’s unfair of me to expect free child care.
TLDR My son cannot live at home because he hates his younger sister and does anything in his power to hurt her. He is "callous and unemotional" which is a nice way of saying he's a sociopath who is too young to be diagnosed. I did everything in my power to protect her but he's manipulative as hell and the pediatric mental health care system is in shamble. We would be forced by law to take him back into the house or be charged with abandonment. He always found new ways to hurt and traumatize her.
Several years ago he acted out sexually, she told me immediately and the police got involved. He never came home. He's been bouncing between treatment facilities ever since. The number one thing I hear from our relatives? What's going to happen to Son! What's his future going to be? Not because of the affect on his sister, but because his life is ruined already and he's not even 18 yet.
Not a word from relatives about what his sister is feeling or what she's planning to do with her life now that she isn't living in constant fear. She's thriving. We thought she had allergic eczema her entire life, it turns out her trigger is stress, without him in the house her skin has completely healed. Her eyelashes grew back. She has friends for the first time in her life. Anybody in my family happy? Nope. All they care about is the tragedy of my son throwing away his life. What's he feeling, what will we do with him, isn't it sad the terrible, jpredatory choices he made?! Lord, give me a break.
Edit I'm really sorry it took me a long time to reply. I got overwhelmed by the amount of comments. I had no idea so many women lived through this. I really felt alone, thank you for sharing. What I describe below might be triggering.
To people who asked how it turned out like this he grew up in a two parent household, no violence or drinking. He was a difficult toddler, we didn't bond well and that's on me. He had a speech delay that caused him frustration. He resented her from infancy because of her crying. We thought it was the normal sibling rivalry but it got serious.
He destroyed anything she showed an interest in. He would slap her or just attack her for no reason. I never left them alone together but he still managed to hurt her. She was too afraid to sleep in her bedroom because she thought he might sneak in, lock the door and kill her in her sleep. He threatened to. He tried to trigger her food allergies to see what would happen. Every single therapy we've tried he does... keep reading on reddit ➡
Hey Reddit! I am married to a great man and we have a son together, “Noah” (3m). My husbands sister and her partner also have a son the same age, “Brody”. We don’t speak very often as we tend to clash a little bit, but are usually civil enough for the kids sake.
My in-laws live within walking distance to our house, and they asked to take Noah to the park. We of course, had no problem with this, and switched his car seat from my car into theirs. They had a fun afternoon and then came home. However, we forgot to take the car seat out of their car. No matter! I wasn’t going anywhere so I said I would pick it up the next day.
The next day came and they made excuses that they were using the car. I let it go, but a day soon turned into nearly a week and I still had no car seat for Noah. We didn’t need it, as everything we needed was within walking distance, but it was just a bit annoying. Anyway, on the Saturday my husband hears that MIL was babysitting Brody for the day.
MIL picked him up and used Noah’s car seat, despite Brody having his own. Apparently they didn’t want to make a fuss of switching them. (This is actually a point where me and SIL clash, as I prefer to rear face my son as long as possible and have bought a pricier seat to do so, whereas she believes this is stupid and a waste of money, and has an own-brand front facing seat which costs significantly less than our ERF one- and has been very vocal about how bad my choices are, how cruel I am, he must be bored/uncomfortable) so I was surprised to hear that she was happy to put Brody in such an “uncomfortable” seat.
Long story short, they ended up in an accident. Everyone was fine, Brody included, which in part was due to the car seat. Obviously, since it was in an accident, it now needed replacing. The problem lies here.
My SIL (and now MIL too) insist that, should their insurance pay for a new seat, they use the money to pay for a new seat to replace Brody’s front facing one. I disagree, it was their choice to buy that seat and they still have it. If they want a new one, they should pay for it. They used our seat that belongs to my son and now we don’t have one at all. So we should get the replacement, since it was our seat in the first place.
I think I’m right because it’s an expensive seat and we aren’t made of money. MIL and SIL are calling me an AH to put a price on Brody’s safety but I disagree, she was the one to put a price on it by buying him a cheap seat in the first place, say... keep reading on reddit ➡
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I'm F28 from Asia, My husband M33 is Canadian. We've been married for 3 years. We have a 1.5 year old son. He has a habit of repeating everything we say which is a great learning method for him. He's very smart and pays good attention to every word he hears and also has a great memory.
I have family in Asia and so I tend to speak with my own language (persian) at home whenever I'm talking with them on the phone. My son have picked up a few words I said and he sound really funny when he's trying to say them because they're difficult to say. Anyways my husband came home and told him to listen to what our son was trying to say. He looked at me confused then he looked upset. I asked him what's wrong and he told me that what I was doing was wrong, that I shouldn't try to teach our son this language without telling him first. But I wasn't it just happened. When I told him that he argued that I should stop speaking like that home then. I was shocked. I asked if he was serious. And He went on about how I'm acting selfish by objecting to this decision but I told him I'm free to speak however I want plus he had no issues with that in the past. I don't see any harm in this. He argued for nearly an hour telling me that I needed to watch everything I say whenever I'm near my son. I called him ridiculous for asking me something like that and he didn't like that I refused to quit speaking with my original language.
He went out to meet some friends and then sent me a text talking about our argument and how much I hurt his feeling by calling him ridiculous and lashing out like that. I didn't reply because I needed to calm down before I talk to him but his texts kept coming in basically blaming me for starting an argument and refusing to understand his point.
I don't think he's being reasonable here. Maybe I don't see the negativity of that or wether he's overreacting.
I'm a single mom of two (Dale22,and Kim15) my late husband passed away when Kim was 10. It was too much because It's hard being a single mom. Everyone in my life has never stood by me. Where I'm from society tends to be harsh on single moms.
I always felt much stress with all the responsibilities and everyone expecting me to give up. There were MANY times when I felt like a failure and I never want to be seen as a failure in my children's eyes. I want them to look up to me. Learn from my experiences. And learn to stand by themselves and be strong. Kim is the apple of my eye. She went through so much. I tend to be "overprotective" of her as they say. I was with someone (A Police Officer) who was "nice" to me but once I noticed how poorly he treated Kim. I told him to leave immediately. I decided to focus on Kim.
Dale and his wife are expecting. He's been unemployed for months, and they left their rental apartment and moved in with us temporarily. However his wife started disrespecting Kim's privacy. Walking into her room constantly taking her things and ruining them. They brought boxes of baby stuff and stored them in Kim's room. I told her to move the boxes to the storage room but Dale made excuses that the stuff might get damaged. Dale and his wife talked about staying for a few more months (she's 8m pregnant) til after the baby is a few months old. His wife suggested that my daughter move into my room and they take her room and turn it into a nursery. I said no it's not up for discussion. Dale understood but his wife didn't like it. Kim came to me saying Dale's wife is trying to convince her to give her room to her "nephew" I told Dale's wife firmly to stop annoying Kim.
Yesterday I came home and found Dale moving Kim's stuff out of her room replacing it with their baby's stuff. Kim was in the livingroom waiting for me. She was crying I was livid. Dale's wife made her a sandwich to "calm her down".
I saw Kim's room. her bed was moved. Her fav. Posters. Her closet and graphic art some were put there by her dad. I confronted them. Dale said it was his wife's idea and told him she'll "work it out with me later"
I got into an argument with her. I lashed out at her after she said Kim can take the storage room. I told them to leave immediately. They argued for an hour then left. My mom and sister called me in the evening. Asking how I could kick my own son out and told me to let them move back in. I refused and now they're calling me bad mom saying I'm... keep reading on reddit ➡
My husband and I have three children together; two boys and a girl. Our sons are 20 and 18 and our daughter is 16. Like many others, my husband and I have been working for home which has given us a chance to all be together as a family. My husband is usually away a lot for work so we've never had the much time being all together. This past year has brought our family together more than anything else could.
The other day my husband sat down with our sons and started telling them a story about him growing up and spending time with family. He said he heard something in a song that he thought was a good idea. He gifted them both pretty expensive watches saying to not think of the monetary value but to remind them to spend time where it matters. Money isn't a big issue for us but this has a price tag that'd I'd like to know in advance.
Later that day our daughter came to me and said she was upset that he did that for them but nothing for her, he didn't even call her just to listen to him. I thought the same so I went to talk to my husband. I asked him why he didn't have anything for her. He said she's too young and it was just something for the boys but when I asked if he would do something similar for her when she was older, he said he probably wouldn't stating that it wouldn't hold the same value anymore.
I got mad when he said that. I feel like it was pretty disrespectful to say that he would do something for the boys and not our daughter. I told him that he should go apologize her for leaving her out but he refused. I didn't let him slide on the matter and brought it up again later and he told me to leave it alone. We got into an argument about it and I told him that I felt he was being a bit misogynistic and didn't really have a good reason for not doing anything for her or even letting her sit in on the conversation. AITA for being so mad about it?
Edit: I want to thank everyone for taking the time to reply to my post. You all have said a lot for me to consider. I know some of you have questions but I'm so overwhelmed by all the responses I don't think I'll be replying to any but I will be thinking about all things said. Thank you and feel free to reply with more of your thoughts on the situation.
HOW IT ENDED: My son has been seeing the boy next door romantically, turns out the move had nothing to do with me or the father.
After speaking with the father and my son, I've decided to check myself into a mental health facility, I don't think I'm coping very well with much and I need help. My ex will also be looking after my youngest son while I'm away.
My son and I have always been close, so has my son and his father, however lately he's been a little more withdrawn. Every time he comes back from his father's house he complains that he didn't want to come home and he wishes he could just stay there. He doesn't join in much on family time anymore and any time I try to have a serious conversation about what's going on with him he just repeats that he wants to go live with his dad full time.
I have no idea what could have brought this on, we haven't done anything differently. I asked him if it was my new boyfriend if he was mistreating him and he said no, I just don't understand why he'd want to leave and not tell us why. It's making me wonder what his father is up to and what he's telling our son, although it's hard to believe he'd say anything bad about us considering we split on good terms.
What do I do? I don't want to lose my boy.
Update: As suggested by many, I decided to cut off my relationship this morning in hopes the house won't be uncomfortable anymore. This led to an extremely heated conversation with my son where he's decided it's appropriate to call me an idiot for ruining things with this guy. Needless to say, he still wants to move in with his dad.I'm dropping him off there today.
Updated update: My son has taken it upon himself to contact my ex and tell him I needed to talk, he'll be in trouble for this later.He arrived safely at his father's and will remain there.I think he's going to be just fine.
Even before my wife and I started to think about kids, her mother has wanted us to name a son after her father. Let's say the name is Sherman. It's not actually Sherman, but think of something equally... generational. Or old-fashioned, perhaps. The important thing is, from day one, I have absolutely hated the name.
At the end of 2020, my wife and I welcomed a baby boy to the world. Hooray! But since the day we announced the gender, her mother ramped up the Sherman campaign. You might even say it was to the point of scorched earth. Luckily my wife and I gave each other 10 "no questions asked rejects" when it came to names. Obviously Sherman was the first to go. Ultimately we named our son something we both really liked... let's say his name is Alexander.
Over the past three months, my mother-in-law has been a constant presence. In the beginning, that was a really nice thing. Having an extra pair of hands was a godsend when the wife was waking up every hour to breastfeed and I was doing laundry, bottles, and 5sing on a never-ending loop. And frankly, it continues to help - she makes us dinner, she takes care of the baby, etc.
But you can probably guess where this story is going. With increasing frequency over the last few weeks, she's taking to calling our son "Sherm" or "Lil Sherm". She never calls him Alexander or Alex. The first dozen times I let it slide. The next dozen times it started to grate on me. The next dozen times, I started to remind her to call him by the right now in a joking way. The next dozen times, I reminded her in a matter of fact way to call him the right name. All throughout, I've told the wife about my building annoyance . We have a tacit agreement that we would handle our own families and she said she would talk to her mother about it. To be honest, I don't know when she did or how forceful she was, but clearly nothing had changed.
Today, I blew up at my mother-in-law. I told her how disrespectful it was to me and Alex that she continued to call him by the wrong name. That I didn't want him to be confused about his actual name. That she should call him by his real name or not come by anymore.
She didn't really say much in response. I think she said something about how she's just been trying to help. She got her things, said bye to my wife, and left. My wife thinks I'm overreacting. She says it's just a nickname - no different from "buddy" or "pal". Now she's especially upset because there's more stu... keep reading on reddit ➡