The Onion knows what's up
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The trick to this cake was to undercook the onions, they’re all going to get to know each other in the batter.
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Ninjas cutting onions
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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TIL that it is illegal to trade onion futures in the United States due to the 1958 Onion Futures Act, after two traders in 1955 purchased 98% of the onions in Chicago and subsequently crashed onion prices while holding short positions on onion futures. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oni…
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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How do certain smells like onions stay on your fingers for so long, even after you wash your hands repeatedly?
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The recent Lady Gaga news reminds me of this Onion bit made years ago youtu.be/OHVvVmUNBFc?t=1
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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This 18 pound onion that won the world record in 2012
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayaimonogachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Who tf asked about your opinion you raw onion?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dailymoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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Buying fresh onions, chopping them up and storing them in the freezer for when needed. Saves a lot of time!
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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Tifu by not knowing what a onion was

Obligatory this didn't happen today, it was about 10 years ago when I was 19. So I had a friend that was a pretty shady guy but a good friend nonetheless, we'd known each other all through high school, we sorta went our separate ways after graduation but would occasionally call just to check in or go to a party together.

So one day he calls me out of the blue and he says "hey man I'm in a tight spot do you have a onion I can buy real quick" I look in the fridge and say "yea I've got 4 how many do you need?" he says "damn bro I didn't know you had it like that, I need one for now but might need more later how much you gonna charge me" I tell him just give me a dollar and he gets super excited like "hell yea man you've always been a good friend bro" he says he'll be there in 30 minutes and we hang up.

Of course I'm thinking why tf is he so excited about a fucking onion... Whatever maybe he's making meatloaf and forgot to buy onions. So he pulls up 30 minutes later and I go outside with the onion in my hand feeling pretty good about helping my friend out. He flips tf out like "WTF IS THIS!! ARE YOU TRYNA RIP ME OFF!! ARE YOU A FUCKING FED!! I'm standing there confused as fuck" bro you said you wanted a damn onion what's the problem" at that point I think he realized what was happening and says "fuck you bro you wasting my time" and speeds off.

Still in a state of shock I go in the house thinking maybe he want a different type of onion than the one I had. I call my dad and explain the weirdness of what just happened he laughs for a good 10 minutes straight TURNS OUT a "onion" is a unit of measurement for cocaine and "a dollar" in that context means a hundred dollars which is way below the market value. Who knew? Never talked to or heard from him again (he's in prison now)

Anyway there must be something about my demeanor that screams drug dealer because all throughout my adult life people have just assumed I had drugs for sale, especially at parties but sometimes just randomly on the street. It's weird af but I've just gotten used to it at this point. I remember some really old guy when I was 11-12yo telling me I'd make a good drug dealer something about his seriousness and tone made it seem almost like a prophecy and it stuck with me.

Tldr: my drug dealing friend wanted to buy an onion, he meant drugs I thought he meant an actual onion.

EDIT: so to answer a few questions...

My dad knew because of he grew up in the projects of LA he has MS now so he'

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackso08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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Onion use guide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonRastamanLV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Incredible grilled cheese on homemade bread. With crispy prosciutto, pear, caramelized onion, fig jam,.and roasted garlic.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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Shit, did Onion just predicted 2021? v.redd.it/s0jigg9tt4o61
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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double cheeseburger with bacon onion jam and jalapeΓ±o & pickle mayo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/talkingxbird
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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How is The Onion parody?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yuritopiaposadism
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Breakfast time! Gluten free everything bagel, just egg, beyond sausage, spinach, violife cheddar, pickled onions, sprouts, sriracha Mayo πŸ’•
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alyssakitty69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Don't think dude knows what The Onion is...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterSparker3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Old onion is the best
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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[Homemade] French onion beef sliders
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
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[Homemade] Goat cheese, sausage and caramelized onion pizza
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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This person’s stomach is full of onion
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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Who's chopping onions?
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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[Very specific tip] Gravy made from Caramelized onions with vegemite/marmite(to taste) is an excellent base for beef stew type dishes. This will allow you to forgo the buying of dark beers that most recipes call for. Cheers~
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
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[Homemade] French onion soup! Hello Reddit, nice to meet ya. Recipe in comments.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyBroadhands
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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Roast beef, boursin, red onion, roasted red peps, greens, horseradish aioli on house made poppyseed kaiser from the local sammie shop
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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This was my first attempt at making chicken fried steak. Served with mash, beans and onion gravy.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
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[Homemade] Grilled cheese on homemade bread with crispy prosciutto, pear, caramelized onion, roasted garlic, and fig jam.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterCanada
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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Assortment of Onions
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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I have this Onion newspaper box with the last ever print issue still in the display window.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximillious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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jesus christ, onion
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Who's cutting onions
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The onion is back, baby: Disney Announces Next Movie Will Feature Princess With Never-Before-Seen Ethnicity entertainment.theonion.co…
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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Another one on this masterpiece of an onion video.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
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My friend ate a classic onion.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
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[homemade] French onion soup
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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[The Onion] Orioles Concerned After Multiple Players Arrive At Spring Training In Way Too Good Of Shape For Baseball sports.theonion.com/oriol…
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
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Your heart latterly becomes a living onion 😭
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arvil420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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Last night I ordered a pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, onions and peppers, this is how it arrived
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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Normally very nutrition focused, but after weathering the extreme weather and electricity/water outages in Texas I needed some comfort. 1 entire loaf of French bread, olives, lettuce, onion, 12 slices of tofurkey, 6 slices of Chao, and yellow mustard. reddit.com/gallery/lsiu8j
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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[Onion] Curt Schilling Insists He’d Already Be Hall Of Famer If MLB Never Racially Integrated sports.theonion.com/curt-…
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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British soldiers wearing gas masks while peeling onions at Tobruk, 15 October 1941.⁣
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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TIL Americans eat an average of 18.8 pounds of onions every year and Libyans eat 66.8 pounds of onions in the same amount of time. ablogaboutnothinginpartic…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/commandrix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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264 calories! I wasn't a fan of salads before but now I find myself craving them more often. Chicken meatballs, egg, broccoli, carrot, onion, mixed salad greens, lemon and cilantro.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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"The Last Picnic" Original art I finished today. Help my fuck boys, the Onion Ring Samsquantch and the Mustard Tiger didn't leave many burgers left. reddit.com/gallery/m39we9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoboDeadfish
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
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Who is chopping onions?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/regian24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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Potatoes garlic mushroom bacon pearl onions cheeses and an egg baked
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bo0ombaklak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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Even the Onion is with us. Give us back our tendies RH 🐍🐍🐍
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwedishFish123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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I goofed and doubled the grocery order for onions -- now I have 6 lbs of yellow onions. How can I best use them in my IP (or any other way to use them)?
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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Based Onion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperDoge243
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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Salt and Vinegar chips are better than both sour cream & onion and barbecue chips.

That's right. Salt and vinegar are the superior chip. Sour cream & onion chips just have an overly sweet yet salty taste that is just overwhelmingly disgusting. Barbecue chips leave your mouth feeling dry and bitter because of the awful taste. Salt and vinegar are just a perfect combination of flavors that is just overall better than other chips. EDIT: generic edit thanking redditors for upvotes and awards EDIT 2: oh lord I believe I've started a war

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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