I'm a 25 year old female, and I'm blind. The whole idea of having kids scares me, and I honestly don't want any; and my fiance is also fine with this decision.
Before Christmas my fiance and I went to see his mother, and aside from my parents they are the only other people we visit in person. While we were there, the subject of children came up; which is usual for his mom.
She actually naggs us about having kids quite a bit especially after we got engaged. While we were talking she asked me when I was going to have her a baby, I told her I didn't know because I don't want kids.
Just like everyone else I've told this to, she tells me I don't mean that. then says I have to have her a grand baby. This of corse made my blood boil, and I planely told her that if she wanted a baby so badly she could adopt one.
The'n my fiance spoke up and told her that we'd probably be more willing to have kids if people didn't nag us about it. Then I asked her if I had "baby farm" tattooed on my forehead. She says yes because I'm a woman and that's what I'm suppose to do.
She doesn't care that I'm blind, and having a child would be a struggle for me, she just wants me to pump her out a grand child. Am I the asshole?
When my (34f) father passed away 6 years ago, we were very well off, so my mom, brothers (29, 26) and I ended up inheriting a lot. My brothers live abroad and didn't want the hassle of dealing with the properties so they signed their shares over to me. After discussing with them, I sold off all the properties except for a 1 BHK in an area that is at the outskirts of the city. That apartment was being occupied by a long time employee of our family business and we let them live there for free. With my money and some of the "family money" I bought 2 flats (3 bed, 3 bath) in a really nice building. It's got amazing security, a gym, a terrace garden and a swimming pool and is in a really nice location. I took one flat and my mom lives in the other. We are really close to our mom and she's a super chill lady who has been the best mom we could have asked for. Our dad was very controlling and made her miserable so we are determined to do whatever we can to really let her enjoy her life now.
Now the issue- my husband (36) and I have been married for 3 years. He moved into my flat because his parents and brother live in a 2 br flat and we would have no space. Plus my MIL is not a fan of how I'm not subservient to my husband and am independent and run my own business, so we felt the space would be better. Now 2 things have happened. My BIL (38) has gotten engaged and our long time employee has retired and is moving back to his hometown, which means that his flat is going to be empty. I guess husband mentioned it to my BIL who is now saying that I should move my mother into the 1 br and let them (FIL,MIL, BIL and FSIL) move into my mother's flat. I refused. At most, I could probably let BIL move into the 1 br flat, but he doesn't want it because it's so far away from the city.
Well, my MIL and BIL didn't like that I said no so they went behind my back and asked my mom if she would move. My mom is a sweet lady and she didn't want me to have issues with the in-laws so she told me that she would be okay with moving. I was fuming mad and I told my brothers and they agreed that they would not want my mom to move. I was going to politely tell them no, but when they came over, I heard my MIL and BIL tell me husband that he was "not a man" and how could he not support his family. That I was a controlling bitch and my mom was just a widow and didn't need much in life any way. She should be grieving and not enjoying luxuries. I lost my shit and yelled at them to keep their... keep reading on reddit ➡
Hi! I posted several weeks ago about a situation in which I felt that my parents were trying to replace my brother (Dan) with my husband (Jeff).
I want to first express my gratitude for everyone who commented and messaged me. I was raised in an unhealthy environment and as such I was very out of touch with what normal family dynamics and boundaries look like. The support, the resource recommendations, and the respectful criticisms have all been invaluable to me as I’ve begun to confront what I’ve avoided for a long time.
People have messaged me asking for an update. Well, I’m happy to share good news! My husband and I went no contact with my parents as many of you suggested. We have also both started going to therapy. We have only had three sessions each, but I can definitely say it has been a total relief to process things that I have been bottling up my entire life. I already feel like I can understand myself and the clusterfuck I grew up in significantly better. Kinda kicking myself for not trying it sooner. Jeff has felt the same way with his sessions from what he’s told me. Under professional advisement, we are holding off on couples therapy until we do a few more individual sessions but we hope to start in the near future.
Now for the main good news: my brother Dan is spending the holidays with us! After taking health precautions, he drove up last week and is staying with us past New Years! Having Dan around has been incredibly special for me and Jeff. Dan and I have been making up for so much lost time, and I've never seen him smile so much and it warms my heart. I did tell him about the situation with our parents and Jeff before he came. It was hard to hear but Dan has a really strong support system and seems to be processing it in a healthy way. He’s coming up on 7 years sober now! I was finally able to apologize to him for not stepping up as a better sister earlier in his life and enabling our parents’ abuse. He said he doesn’t blame me, but I still want to show him through my actions that I will always be there.
My parents have been pretty much losing their shit this entire time, especially when they found out Dan is with us. As a people pleaser, I’m proud of myself for being firm in maintaining my boundaries.
Right now my heart is filled with more love and joy than i... keep reading on reddit ➡
I(29m) and my wife(28f) have been together for ten years and have one child(3f) and expecting two more daughters in February. My wife and I are absolutely obsessed with fitness, but my wife takes it to a whole new level compared to me, especially during this pregnancy. Back in November, my wife discovered “fasting” and has been using it as her main weight loss technique, but realistically what she is doing is closer to an eating disorder then fasting since she misses the main point of water fasting which is DRINKING A LOT OF WATER, she at most drinks one cup of water each day during her fast. I have tried explaining to her that her eating habits are not healthy at all, especially during pregnancy but it never works. On Christmas, my wife barely ate anything, but still decided that she would go on a fifteen day fast. I told her she should see a doctor before she starts it, but she didn’t listen. She is currently on day 6 of her fast. This morning I had one more conversation with her about it and I blatantly told her that she is a terrible mother for treating her body this way and explained why what she is doing is extremely unhealthy. My wife of course didn’t take the terrible mother comment well and cried for a few minutes after hearing it. Today I called my sister asking for advice on how to handle this situation, after hearing about what I told my wife my sister called me cruel and said I should support my wife, not name-call. This situation is probably way above this Reddit’s paygrade, but me being blunt and cruel with my wife is literally the only option I have left. AITA?
*EDIT* I had some free time so I am going to clarify a little,
I can't come to my wife's appointments due to Covid
my wife skipped her most recent appointment, which of course I told her not to do, but there is only so much I can do
my wife is not close with her family(long story) and doesn’t have many friends, so my daughter and I are basically the only support my wife has right now
I have recommended she see therapist or a doctors in the past multiple times, but she usually doesn’t take it well( a lot of crying)
I had major plastic surgery, in a lot of pain, and my mother came to my house to “take care of me”. I’m 38 years old, never had a history of addiction or drug abuse, and my mom flat out refused to give me my pain medicine (opiates). I threatened to call police and she said she would just tell them I’m an addict (she did try but they didn’t believe her). Knowing the prescription is in my name, in my house, and I’ve obviously had major surgery w a visible drain hanging off my abdomen, so I called 911. The police came and agreed with me. My mother was forced to give me access to my prescription, but is now being a hateful bitch. How am I the asshole here if I warned her I’d call police?
EDIT: I woke up to a bunch of notifications and I appreciate all your support. She is now gone and another friend is coming to stay with me. I’ll try to answer questions in thread
EDIT 2: I do feel like an asshole for using emergency services. I was panicked and not thinking clearly. When I threatened to call police I hoped it would force her hand. When her reply was that she would just tell them I was an addict, I realized it was going down. I was in pain and terrified
Oh boy, I finally get a chance to show off my parent's entitlement. This one was so fun to find out about.
A little necessary background: I am currently no contact with my parents and siblings, and have been for over a year. Extended family I am okay with, and spend a lot of time with. I currently live with my boyfriend, which my entire family is aware of but don't know much. We are also desi (Indian), my boyfriend is white.
For Christmas, I visited my aunt and cousins to drop off presents (it was a socially distant exchange but I stayed a while to chat about things). Whenever I see my aunt she tends to give me important updates about my parents and immediate family. For example, I knew my mom broke her arm or that my brother and his wife moved closer to home. Things like that. So my aunt had a little tidbit she wanted to share with me before I headed out.
"So your mom has a proposal for you."
Apparently a family friend had reached out to my mother, not knowing about our no contact situation, and thought that her son would have been a perfect match for me. I literally know nothing about this guy, but my mother apparently rushed ahead agreeing with this friend. She sent my photo and information and that friend loved me apparently.
My mother then called my aunt, sent her the guys photo and information, and cried saying she didn't know how to get in contact with me to share the good news and would she reach out to me and show the photo? My mother kept stressing that he's a good boy from a good family, and we know this person and that person and how it'd be a great match and he lives in Chicago so I could be under my sister's nose (one sister lives in Chicago) while married and oh wouldn't be so wonderful? My aunt responded with mhmm okay yeah sure mhmm, and just didn't really give my mother an opinion.
While speaking to my aunt about this, I was incredulous. She is all for mending my relationship with my family but understands and respects my space. My aunt is well aware that my boyfriend and I live together so she took what my mother said with a grain of salt, but oh my god.
I'm just appalled by my mother and what she thinks is okay to say about me to other people.
###Edit: Thank you everyone for your replies and comments! South Asian kids sometimes don't get enough love in the parent department and weddings are a nonsensical topic often. I have a ton more stories about my crazy mother and family to share.
###Edit 2: Wow this blew up. Thank you... keep reading on reddit ➡
This is a short story just sayin About a few years back me and a few friends went to a movie theater to watch this movie called “kubo and the two strings” it may sound childish and because it was animated a lot of people thought it was for kids (fun fact people animated doesn’t mean child friendly) it was also made by this company called Laika the same that made coraline so they are gonna have some scary themes.
Anyways on to the story
Me and my friends are waiting behind who is holding a 4-6 year old boy the conversation goes like this
Me:me PE: poor employe Em: entitled mom TK:the KID F1: friend one F2:friend 2
PE- oh sorry ma’am but this movie might be scary for your kid I know it looks innocent but it has some horror scenes Em- is this a joke? PE- ummm what do you mean Em- I am not an idiot this is animated it’s for kids now just give me my ticket already! Me-he might be right ma’am animated movies can be scary Em- excuse me who do you think you are? I am and adult and there is no way you know any better then me you kids these days have no respect what’s so ever! Me- stays quite
We get our popcorn and sit down in our seats
The movie start so far nothing much expect for a little bloody eye in the begging that you can’t see that much then the first quite scary scene come up.
We hear a child scream and almost everybody looks behind
EM-HE GAVE ME THE WRONG TICKET
Em storms out and start yelling at a random employee some people get up including me to see what’s happening after like a minute of arguing with the employee she and her kid -still crying- get escorted out by security
What a great guy Bam is, I ain't getting off the Bamwagon >Adebayo showed up to the house of Travillia Bogan, a single mother of two sets of twins on the verge of facing eviction, and presented her with a year’s worth of rent. A week before Christmas, it’s the best present Adebayo has ever had the privilege of giving.
>“It’s gotta be No. 1,” Adebayo told Complex exclusively. “Just helping somebody like that, in that situation, and all the negative situations that’s happened to her the last couple of months, that’s definitely top of my list.”
>More than just handing over money, the 23-year-old burgeoning basketball star also pledged to help with the upkeep and maintenance of the house, like upgrading the décor and improving the landscaping around the property. It was an incredible gesture by Adebayo that may surprise some basketball fans. But it’s absolutely on brand if you know Bam.
>When Bogan, who has struggled to support her family following a car accident two years ago, was presented with the gift she was speechless. So was Adebayo, who watched from a distance due to NBA COVID protocols. Bogan’s appreciation—and, frankly, her relief from the stresses of worrying about her family's future—was conveyed through tears. Words were not necessary.
>“You could feel it through tears of joy,” says Adebayo. “There was no conversation. It was pure joy for her and her family. They’re not getting evicted for Christmas.”
>Adebayo’s motivation to give back stems from his mother, Marilyn Blount. She instilled a sense of compassion and charity in her son from an early age, reminding him often that even though their means were meager, they were lucky compared to other less fortunate families. Adebayo paid Blount back for all her sacrifices, buying her a house for her 56th birthday earlier this month. While she raised Adebayo in North Carolina in a single-wide trailer, Blount endured some of the same struggles as Bogan. So it was perfect that Adebayo came through with the assist.
>“My mom is such a giving and loving person so I feel like it was inherited, for real,” says Adebayo. “That’s how she built me to be. That’s how I’m molded. I’ve always wanted to help people and I’ve always wanted to make someone’s life easier.”
Some background info, I(20M) started to live with my bio father and his wife a week ago. My mother died when I was 18 and since this house has been passed down on my mother's family for generation, I legally inherited it. My mom and bio father divorced when I was 15. I was never really close to him, to be clear, if I were to rate our relationship, it will be 3/10. I don't know the reason, but we're just pretty civil to each other. Last year, he married this woman somewhere aborad and although I was invited, I didn't go because that woman and me are practically strangers. We never talked before and I only know her appearance from a picture.
Because of the pandemic, my bio father asked if they can live here for a while since his pay was recently cut down, so it's hard to keep living in their apartment. Since we have a decent relationship with each other and him saying that they'll agree to any condition I set (I won't dive further in the conditions, just normal roommate stuff, like not meddling with each other's business) , I let them in last week.
The first few days were actually pretty normal, just some snide comments from his wife when he's not around about my lifestyle, my house, my decorations, my garden and whatever she thinks is not good enough. I just always answer her with "Its my life, I'm an adult in my own home. I would appreciate it if you don't voice-out your unsolicited opinions". Then yesterday, for whatever reason it is, she just barged in to my room, demanded for me to be healthy and bond with them more then proceeded to take my laptop which I paid for and my own, separate modem, which I also pay for. Of course, I was irritated and irritated said "What the f are you doing? " She replied with "I'm making you live a healthier life. From now on, I will regulate your use of Internet and laptop. I will be in charge under this roof". After hearing that, I can't help but laugh. I just laughed real hard at her face. Like b!tch? This is my house and I provide for myself. I just answered her with "You high on marijuana or something? Seems you forgot this is not your house. This is my house. You don't get to make the rules here, I do. Disturb me once more and I'll make sure you'll live in the streets."
My father is livid last night and he demanded me to apologise to her. Of course I didn't lol. I just reiterated what I said to her. That this is my house and if they problems or whatsoever, they're free to live in the streets. Now some of my cousins... keep reading on reddit ➡
Okay- my partner (33) and I (27) have been together for 10 years. Generally easy relationship, next to no conflict, similar life goals/interest/views. We’ve lived together for 8(ish) years. 5 years ago we moved into my mothers rental property. She told me that was going to give me the house by transferring over the title. I went back to school in that time and we had two kids and transferring the title over wasn’t a priority. We kinda just didn’t talk about it again until Covid happened and my mom wasn’t in the best spot financially. She decided to sell. I got $90k and she got <$40k when it sold. My partner feels like they got taken advantage of and essentially conned out of the house. They reno’d two nursery’s for the kids and did some general maintenance while we lived in the house. They claim to have spent >$40k on Reno’s as an investment that we’d eventually get back when we sold. I’m a little doubtful of that number.... and regardless, we got a good chunk of change and we’re about to buy a beautiful new home that was just our own. They have refused to have any communication with my mom since. Says she’s selfish and a liar. We’ve had many arguments about it. I’ve talked to mom and told her why partner so upset (feels taken advantage of for free labour, tricked, lied to) but she doesn’t see it that way. She thinks we should be grateful to get $90k. and I am! We got cheap rent for 5 years in a good neighborhood and $90k! Partner feels like mom should apologize for ‘tricking’ him but mom doesn’t feel the need to apologize for something that she doesn’t understand. Partner has told me all their friends are 100% on their side and think I’m delusional for not thinking my mom is a selfish lot. I understand why they might have been upset initially but genuinely don’t think it’s that big of a deal. AITA for thinking partner needs to get over it and realize how lucky we are?
When my (27F) fiancé and I first announced my pregnancy to my family, my sister (34F) was a little jealous, I'm assuming it's because she was trying for a baby with her ex partner but they broke up because he was a cheat.
I gave birth to my daughter seven months ago. Her name is Kaia. When I returned to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave, my sister offered to babysit Kaia once a week which has been incredibly helpful.
Not too long ago, one of my close friends who also recently had a child approached me to tell me that my sister is in a mothers group on Facebook and she's posting photos of Kaia and she's calling my daughter HERS and she's also calling her by a different name. My friend sent me screenshots of my sister's posts and I was completely disturbed so I spoke to my fiancé and we both decided we had to take action immediately. I went over to my sister's and asked her directly about what she was posting on Facebook, she did not deny it and also had no explanation. Therefore I told her that she's banned from seeing my daughter. My sister flipped out and said that I can't take Kaia away from her and then called me a "selfish b!tch" and she started crying. I have NEVER seen my sister act this was before, it was alarming. I ask her if there's anything else I need to know because she may as well just spill everything, so she shows me a framed photo she has in her bedroom of her and my daughter and on the frame is written "mother and daughter." I'm not going to lie, I did call her crazy and then I left and haven't spoken to her since, although she continues to try and come over and calls me multiple times a day.
My mind is an absolute mess. I don't know where we go from here. AITA for how I handled the situation?