I met my girlfriend when we were 11. We were on the same basketball team so I met her family at the games. Her sister “Sammi” was 8 back then and I guess her family used to like teasing that she has a little crush on me and she’d get all shy whenever I hung out with them. They made jokes about me being her “little boyfriend.”
Then we got together when we were 13. So the whole Sammi crushing on me got more obvious. Everyone in her family says it’s cute. Sometimes Sammi would come with us to the movies and I’d buy them stuff. Whenever I go with her family anywhere Sammi always wants to sit nxt to me or on my lap. Never said anything back then since she was a little kid and didn’t mean anything.
Now she 15 and feel like the crush has got worse. To a point where it is awkward and uncomfortable for me. She doesn’t hide that she gets jealous of my GF or when I’m at their place she’s like glued to me, gets mad if we wanna be alone in my GF’s room, wants to go with us wherever we go.
Everyone always treated it like Sammi being herself. But now it makes me super uncomfortable her wanting to be all over me sometimes and I purposely sit somewhere she won’t have space to be near me.
We just learned recently that my girlfriend is pregnant and we moved into our own place to get ready for our baby. Sammi straight up lost it when we told our families we’re pregnant. I’m serious she locked herself in the bathroom crying for an hour yelling that she hates everyone. So yeah with her reaction I wannabe around her even less. I told my GF how I’ve been feeling uncomfortable with her sister for s long time and I should’ve said all this sooner. My girl apologized because she always thought I was ok with some of the shit her sister does but says I don’t have to interact with her if I don’t want to.
She also talked to her family about getting Sammi to start respecting my boundaries and let it go with the boyfriend jokes already. They don’t think Sammi is doing anything wrong since the crush is innocent so they pretty much don’t wanna tell her keep some distance from me when we come over. Her parents started coming at me to stop making a big deal and punishing Sammi for how she feels.
I showed my GF the txts they sent me and she got pissed. So now she won’t go either until they start getting her Sammi to behave right around me but they won’t do that. The whole family is attacking us especially my girlfriend and it’s making me feel guilty. They’re saying I’m terrible for ru... keep reading on reddit ➡
Where I am, there is a babysitting service where people around the ages of 16-18 who can't get a "real job" work for. I have the app on my phone and I get notified if the customer selects me for a babysitting session. I got a notification a couple of days ago and everything seemed fine.
They had a 4th grader and they just wanted me to keep an eye on him. Their profiles said the kid was a bit unruly and talkative but I was fine with that. What they didn't say on the app was that they had a son (not sure about his age but young adult/ maybe 19-21ish?) in the house I was going to be babysitting in.
I wasn't allowed in the second floor so I was in the living room with the kid. I was on my phone and I had a freaking heart attack when some random adult man, about 6ft tall and big, just came from the stairwell to where I was. He didn't acknowledge me and he walked by and got some food from the kitchen and went back upstairs. I genuinely thought he was a home invader and I hid the kid before realizing he came from up stairs and he was wearing home wear so he had to be family.
He didn't do anything to me but I was freaked out. I was literally in a horrible situation (I'm not saying all men are bad, don't get me wrong) because I, a 5'3 16 year old girl was in an unfamiliar house with a full grown big ass dude. Like, it's a classic GET OUT OF THERE situation. I had about 4 hours left and I didn't want a bad review so I stayed there against all gut feelings.
About 20 minutes or so later, I bumped into him again and he asked me "Are you the babysitter?" I said yes and he said I was allowed to use the second floor because the only reason I wasn't was because his parents didn't want me bumping into him, which already happened. I thanked him but stayed in the first floor.
After the session, I was furious for the situation I was put in. I wanted to call them and tell them that was not okay but I needed their review so I shut tf up. Later on, after they reviewed me, I reported them for not being clear with me about the situation at home.
I told my friends about this because I don't know why they chose a 16 girl to babysit their kid when they had a full grown man in the house (who seemed capable) and they told me reported them was kind of a shitty thing to do because
Now, I... keep reading on reddit ➡
My (19F) bf (19M) and I have been dating for almost a year now and when lockdown started we basically took turns living with each others' families and I felt really at home with his and got along great with all family members.
Now here's the problem. A few months back his brother (15M) took a turn for the worse and started hanging out with people with bad influence and also started dating one of them. He basically let them decide which high school he would go to (the program he applied for has nothing to do with his interests and everyone in the family thought it was a bad idea) not to mention that his gf has got some major family problems and is generally a "problem child" so the brother has been acting up, started smoking/drinking, stopped doing his chores etc. He's also been acting really nasty towards me.
Now this is maybe common for an angsty teen or whatever and we (my bf and I) thought it would only last for a bit since my bf wasn't allowed to even get a vape, much less smoke when he was growing up but no. The parentes BUY cigarettes and alcohol for him and lets him and his gf do whatever they please. This has caused distress for their sister (13F) cause she gets yelled at for not doing the dishes when her brother drives to his friends' houses before finishing the dishes (they take turns each week but the sister has to do it constantly now).
I've asked them why they won't enforce a rule as simple as "don't smoke at home" but when they brought it up once the brother threatened with running away from home so they gave in.
I used to feel really safe in their home but I have no interest in living in a house ruled by a 15 year old so I have stopped going there. His parents think I'm being the asshole for not being "adult enough" to go there for their sake meanwhile me and my friends think they're the assholes for not enforcing rules in their own home and basically letting everyone else's comfort be sacrificed for the brother's comfort.
What's going on in that household goes against my values and I'm always in a bad mood when I'm there now so I have stopped going there which is affecting my bf and his sister (his parents too, kind of) because they miss me and want me there but I just can't. AITA?
EDIT: A lot of people are telling me to call social services but that's not really an option since they would know it was me even if I did it anonymously cause I am the only one who's been vocal about it being a problem.
UPDATE: My bf's dad has told him... keep reading on reddit ➡
I am an after school tutor. Homework help and co-curricular support mostly, test prep sometimes.
I am pretty adamant and clear that you cannot leave the house while I’m working with your child because I am not childcare and I cannot be made responsible if something like a medical episode happens. I also don’t want there to be the appearance of impropriety.
I don’t need them in the room or anything, just in the house.
Even still, parents occasionally try and use me as an excuse to run a child free errand or run to the office or whatever else they do. Usually after the first warning it stops, and there’s also a financial penalty.
Recently I had a family where the mom evidently left during our session. This was the first time that it had happened.
Eventually I needed to leave for my next appointment. I texted and called her, but no response. I was not comfortable leaving the child (8) alone without an adult present.
After 15 minutes of waiting and becoming late for the next child, I got nervous and called the police non-emergency line to ask what I should do next. They said they’d send someone over.
The police arrived and said they’d wait with her. Of course, I have many angry calls and a negative review from this mother now, saying I’ve created a huge problem for her and the police think she’s some kind of bad mother now and a social services agent asked her all kinds of questions and how dare, etc.
She claims she didn’t realize the session was only thirty minutes and thought it would be ok to quickly leave around the corner because I would still be there when she returned.
I was comfortable with the decision at first, but she seemed genuinely shaken up by her interactions with the social agent or officer she spoke to (unclear which from her message). And a friend of mine says this was an uncalled for escalation that could have actually placed the child in more jeopardy than my leaving after the appointment (or that I should have waited for the mom to return and spoken with her first as a warning.)
Seven years ago, I (35F) lost my husband, daughter, and mother to a car accident. They were hit by a drunk driver that drove though a red light and killed all of them on impact. Their deaths greatly effected me and if it weren't for my friends and years of therapy I would be in a much lower place, I am very thankful for their support and have been able to process my grief properly. Two years ago, I took a job offer that provided more benefits than my current one, and moved far away from my city to another. I travel back to occasionally meet up with friends and of course to visit my family's graves on their death anniversary. It is a 7 hour car drive, or around an hour by plane. Due to Covid, last year I drove to avoid contact with people and stayed at my old house. This year I plan to do the same thing but ran into an issue with my friend having her wedding in my old city.
My friend "Amy (33F)" (fake name) announced she was engaged last year to her boyfriend of 3 months. My friend group and I were quite shocked as we never even met him nor did we know she was dating anyone as we usually tell each other, but nonetheless we congratulated her and were happy for her. They were supposed to have their wedding last year but couldn't due to covid and postponed it to this year. We are not in US btw, and covid cases are now less than 10 here in my country. We are allowed gatherings of less than 15 people, and that is what Amy decided to do for her wedding. About a week ago Amy called me privately to tell me her plans for the wedding. She told me that she is having it on the same day of my family's death anniversary, and would like me to not visit their graves and just attend the wedding instead. I was quite shocked that the wedding was planned that specific day and questioned as to why she picked that day, Amy told me she just liked the number date and told me that I can't just gate-keep a certain day. Then I asked her why can't I go visit my family's grave, she told me that she doesn't want my sadness and grief to take the attention at her wedding. I was incredibly stunned at what she said. I know I am quite emotional, but I know how to compose and behave myself at certain events.
Here's where I think I am the AH, I told Amy that unfortunately I will not miss out on visiting my family's graves. I tried to ask for a compromise and told her if my emotions were that much of a problem, I'll attend their graves after the wedding was over. She said she wants my support... keep reading on reddit ➡
Ok, this is a throwaway because I don’t want it attached to my main and please don’t use this anywhere else.
I wanted to get unbiased opinions, because there are some differences with my friends and family with this. Ok, so my husband (34) and I (31f) have a 9yo. Now, we are financially comfortable and my retired mother lives with us (she is very financially comfortable).
My husband has 2 older brothers (38,35) and a younger sister (30). However, sister and her husband just passed away. The family wasn’t super close, but everyone was devastated. They had a 5yo daughter. The issue is that she is needing a new home now (she’s been staying with 38bro since the accident 6 weeks ago) and everyone in my SO’s family think it should be us. We are against it. We weren’t close to them (honestly none of SO’s family is really close. A few texts or Facebook messages here and there and that’s it) and 1 kid is our limit.
The reason why everyone thinks we would be assholes to not take her is because we are in the best position to do so. 38bro has 2 kids (8,2) and his wife is pregnant, plus a 13yo kid from a previous relationship. 35bro has 2 kids (12,10) from a previous relationship and his current partner has 3 kids (9-4? don’t know ages bc we haven’t met her or them). Both aren’t as well off as we are, and obviously have a lot more kids than we do. Also, I work from home (none of them do) and have my retired mom for help if I needed it (she’s enjoying retirement so I wouldn’t ask for help, but this was a reason given). Also, SO’s parents are older, in poor health, and definitely not financially able to help. Sister’s husband’s only family is an elderly aunt several states away that can’t help.
So, yes, I acknowledge we are the best option to take her in, but we REALLY don’t want to take on another child. We adore our son, and he is enough for us. We don’t know this little girl at all, but we do feel terrible about the situation she is in. Now, my husband is starting to think we are assholes and maybe we should just offer to share custody after everything they have said (he’s a people pleaser). I have said absolutely no, because I’m not being bullied into doing something we don’t want to do. Plus that’s unfair to her being stuck with people who don’t want her and could god forbid resent her. My mom supports my decision as do most of our friends and family, but we have had several say we are assholes and should take her in. So AITA?
Edit: Adding info from comment... keep reading on reddit ➡
My partner (will be referred to as "L") and I have been together (on and off a little, but that's another story) for about 2 1/2 years and we had a child together decently early on in the relationship.
From the start, I suspected his brother (will be referred to as "J") had a crush on me with how he acted. From what I was told by L and other family, J typically would not open up easily to people. Within a week, J was comfortable with me and would allow me to do things such as enter his room whenever, which he did not allow for anyone else. That could have been just him comfortable with me as a friend, but things started to progress a little more. Whenever L and I would be out in the living room and being affectionate, J would get quiet and act jealous. We tried not to completely rub it into his face all the time once that was noticed and kept affection between ourselves down a bit when around him. After a couple of months, L and I were extremely curious on if J had feelings for me since there was more hints, such as J would have me play video games with him but only if L wasn't in the room or I was awake before L and had nothing better to do.
Over time, J would get more snippy towards me without any good reason, mainly if L was around with me. I tried at one point to talk to J privately, but he went and told his family I was trying to seduce him to make it look like I was the bad guy in the situation and to hurt my relationship with the rest of the family, which he was successful at for a while. I didn't want much to do with him for a while after that understandably, but it still caused tension and a strain on L and I's relationship with the drama.
Things cooled off for a while, and J did stop. We had hardly any contact for a while, with the exception of family events. From what I gathered, he was claiming he hates me and refuses to acknowledge I exist.
Anyway, at a recent family event, we were playing a board game at the table. There was J, L, myself, and a 3 other family members. I was sitting across from J and stretched my legs, accidentally bumping him. I pulled my feet back, but maybe 5 minutes later, I feel his feet on mine. It wasn't like a quick thing either; he was rubbing my foot with his and did so for quite some time. I did not say anything at that time because I did not want to cause a huge issue at a family function. I told L later and he was surprised that he didn't notice. We just had another family event in which I c... keep reading on reddit ➡
My husband had his brother and parents passed away from covid in 2020, and the horrible thing was he had to witness them die in the hospital he worked at. Not long after, he was laid off from work. He became a "stay at home father" except our two girls are grown up and self-reliant so didn't need him. He was no longer emotionally present with me in our time together in the months after he was laid off, and our girls picked up on our disconnect, and told me he wasn't present with them as well. A lot of days I'd see him sit by himself and not talk to anyone or anything. Sometimes I'd see him in our bedroom weeping and asking what his life had come to. It was clearly depression.
After awhile, he couldn't be physically intimate with me except when I initiated it and I struggled with body image issues at first because of the lack of love making (until I realized he was depressed and understood why it dried up). Emotional conversations were also very tough for him as he would shut out anything of that matter. When I suggested grief counselling many many times, he said he was strong and didn't need it.
At a small get together at our home (my brother, sisters, parents and other relatives and their children along with me and my husband were present, my girls were with friends), my siblings found my husband having an anxiety attack, repeatedly rambling he "was going to be all alone" and he "was going to die", complaining of chest pains. My brother laughed at him and thought he was joking, my sisters laughed at first too but when they realized it was serious, called for an ambulance. I was furious at my sisters and brother for treating this as a joke.
The other day, my parents said they wanted to see me with my siblings privately, without the girls or my husband with me. Immediately, my parents questioned whether my husband was stable and if he needed mental treatment. I said yes and that I was slowly making sure the idea of a counsellor would be palatable for him. My mother said my husband was "a loon", my brother and father agreed, and my sisters laughed at their words.
This really upset me and I said they knew nothing about me or my husband and that he was still struggling with the death of his relatives and losing his job. My father was more serious after this and said that as he was, my husband could never be "the man" of the house and support our daughters through life and treat me like a queen if he was blabbering on about death and being mopey all day. He... keep reading on reddit ➡
That's how we got here. I came out the first time when we were teenagers and she cried and cried and said now she's alone and I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to be a bad guy. We talked about an open relationship. But she doesn't want to share me. But yesterday I came out to everyone. Mom brother wife. Now I'm going back in the closet??! What the fuck am I doing? She says I'm throwing her and our son away for something small and stupid and it means that I am weak and selfish. I can't do this! What the fuck am I supposed to do???
This one is a bit childish ultimately, but my (M35) wife (F33) just hasn't been taking my concerns seriously on this, and I needed to do something to shock her. I'm also UK based in case that's relevant.
About 2 months ago, she brought the car home after work as usual (I work from home, she works at her place of employment). Later that evening I went out to the car to get a bag that she had left in it, when I noticed that she so left her handbag (with car keys) in it. It wasn't until then that I realised that I hadn't needed to unlock the car to get in.
When I went back inside, my wife apologised about it, made a quick joke and that was that. But this trend continued for the next two months. She'd leave the car unlocked , although not always with the car keys left in the car. The first few times that it happened, I tried not to make a big deal about it, though I did comment on it. It's not so much that our area is especially vulnerable to car crime, but things do happen from time to time, and in my opinion a car with keys in it is a tempting crime of opportunity.
After around 5 weeks of this, I asked her one last time to try and not leave the keys in the car again. That night she asked me to get another bag out of the car before I went to bed, and then she went to sleep. When I went to the car, lo and behold, it was again unlocked. I had a quick idea, and parked the car around the corner, out of sight of the house.
The next morning my wife freaked out a bit, but I told her what I had done, and went and got the car back. She said that I was an asshole for giving her such a fright, but I told her that it could just have easily been a real theft, and then we'd have no car. She says I didn't need to be so dramatic, but it wasn't like I hadn't tried to discuss this - and I feel like this maybe got my point across more.
So, AITA? I feel like I might be because I gave my wife a fright, but I also feel like something drastic was needed to get my point across.
You can tell from my post history that I am researching my family tree. I was checking out a family tree site I hadn't used before by inputting my info into the site and I got a notification that I had a match. Very cool. Except it was a match from a tree run by my MIL and it had me marked as deceased. That's just regular petty behavior from my MIL but an important reason why living people are private on family tree sites is for privacy reasons and to keep people safe from identity theft. But of course MIL doesn't care about that. We are NC so I guess if I am dead to her that's just fine. What's not fine is not having my permission to put my info out to the world which could adversely affect the grandchild she says she loves.
Also just wanted to share a tip for those of us who have moms and mils who stalk our fb and social media to look for pics now that we are NC. I know my MIL saves pics any time she can whether she has permission or not. Even though I block everyone my mom and MIL are no stranger to creating fake profiles. Everything of mine is friends only but of course fb, instagram, twitter, etc show your profile pic and cover photo to everyone and this is the main way my mom and MIL have gotten pics without permission. So now I've been going through and getting that off my page.
If you don't want them to have pics of your kid or spouse, don't make them your profile pic or cover photo on fb because they will just crop your head out of the pic. Or at least they do in my experience lol. If you do post a pic of them don't share the full size image, this way if they screenshot it or download it the picture will be super grainy especially if they crop it close to get you out of the pic. Alternatively, only use a profile pic or cover pic impossible to crop you out of because the child is sitting in your lap or super close to you somehow.
Last but not least, DH decided he does want to stay NC with MIL and the rest after all. I didn't update on it because that's really all there was to it.
I went to school to be a music teacher. In the last two years of college, I felt kind of burnt out. It put a lot of stress on me. After graduating, I moved back home a couple of hours away from college and tried to find a job in music. First off, I graduated in December, which is the time where it’s hardest to find a job. I interviewed at 3 schools and was rejected by all.
Fast forward to November 2019 almost a year after graduation, my mom tells me there is an opening for a position to be a special education teacher in the classroom. Now, I’ve always loved working with students with special needs. I always worked by her side from kinder through 8th grade or so in summer schools with those kids. It was great! So I went for the job and was hired almost right on the spot! Ever since November 2019, I’ve worked at that school.
I’m enjoying working with the kids. It’s a mix of gen ed and spec ed in the classroom, and they’re a joy to work with! People are now questioning me, asking if I am still going to go for a music teaching position, and I still don’t know. I’m leaning toward keeping this job right now because I hate rejection. If I tell my family, I know they’re going to be disappointed because I spent 5 1/2 years for music.
What are your thoughts? “Just go for what you’re happy with”? What would I tell my family? Any advice helps!
Edit: I work in a general education classroom that has a mix of students with/without learning disabilities.