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Why on earth would ANY adult want to have their ass wiped by their children? I can think of nothing more humiliating or dehumanizing.
I never understood why nursing homes (pre pandemic) were always such an awful thing.
My bfs grandma would get up an wander around the neighborhood and forget where she was. She would trash the house. She would need to be bathed and fed by others because she couldnβt function. His aunt had to quit her job to look after her, all while having kids of her own. What mother would want that for their children?? What person would want their own health and safety in the hands of someone who is trying to juggle their own lives and children and work instead of a person who takes care of others as their chosen career?
There is a HUGE difference between changing a 6 month oldβs diaper and an 80 year oldβs. And imo there is a HUGE difference between having a medical professional see you naked and clean you than your grown kids seeing you naked and cleaning you.
I would not want my children to remember me as an invalid who needed shit wiped away from their vagina because of diapers.
As soon as a person is unable to function alone, they should be put in professional care and NOT be shamed for that decision.
My husband and I live a happy, quiet life in the mountains. No kids, a few pets, lots of friends and adventures to go on.
My inlaws are nice people. They got the vacation planning bug and have decided that the big βfamily vacationβ this fall is going to be going to Disney. I said their plans sound great, and I canβt wait to see pictures!
MIL said that weβd be joining them, itβs a family vacation. Theme parks, especially overly crowded, hot, expensive ones with screaming and crying kids, and a week with his family? Hard. Pass. My idea of a fun vacation is camping for a week and hiking or backpacking, quiet solitude in the trees.
We said we arenβt interested, but that weβre happy they get to go. MIL argued that we βhaveβ to go because itβs a family vacation. I explained that from my perspective, thatβs a lot of time to spend with everyone, thatβs a lot of time to spend with the kids who will be overstimulated, overtired, cranky from travel, etc and that it doesnβt sound like leisure, it sounds like work.
MIL looked shocked and hurt, and said βI didnβt realize you looked at your nieces and nephews that way.β
Husband said that we love them, just in small doses, and that we honestly wouldnβt enjoy being around everyone else for the whole time either, and that quite honestly weβre just not βtheme parkβ people.
MIL looked so disappointed and made a quick excuse to get off the call. We discussed it again after and were both in firm agreement. A few days later, his brother called and yelled at him for ruining everyone elseβs vacation. I guess because we arenβt going, itβll cost more for everyone, and the parents wonβt get a break because they canβt take a day off and send the kids with βauntieβ and uncle for a few hours. Husband said βOh so the whole reason you guys wanted us to come in the first place is so you had babysitters?β
BIL got super offended by that and made a comment that βspending time with your nephews isn't babysittingβ and went off on how we donβt know how to be part of a family, we just go off on our own and do our own thing without caring how anyone else is doing.
Itβs caused this big rift and part of me wonders if weβre just supposed to suck it up and endure a week at some overpriced, gaudy theme park just so everyone else in the family gets theirs? AITA?
UPDATE: I just wanted to redirect some of the child hate going on in the comments. We don't dislike the kids in the family. We spend time with them! We see them every three or so mont
... keep reading on reddit β‘Link to original post
Hello Reddit, I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone who replied, I was not expecting my post to get this level of attention. I have read all of your comments, and thank you once again. I am in tears and became an emotional mess after reading your thoughtful responses, thank you for the love and support. I have always felt as some sort of emotional burden to my friends, so thank you for your encouraging messages and telling me to keep my head up high. Even though we are all strangers on the internet, it sort of felt like I had gained new family. My heart goes out to the people who have messaged me privately of their experiences with losing their loved ones to drunk driving as well. Please know, I have felt your pain, you are not alone in this and I wish you all the love in this world.
Now for the update, I did what some of you suggested and called my other friends to let them know what Amy had asked of me. They were quite livid and angry for me as they had no idea what Amy was planning for the wedding, we arranged a zoom call with her the next day to discuss why is she being so insensitive to me. Well, the call was quite the battle. It started off calm, then Amy just blew up. You guys were right when you said that Amy was jealous of the attention that I had received during the time of my familyβs death anniversary, her wedding was a way to shift the attention towards her. She tried to explain to us by having the wedding on that day, it will turn a negative situation into a positive one. When she realized she wasnβt convincing enough, it felt as though a mask had fallen from her face and she started yelling and insulting me. She said that she is tired of having to play the supportive friend role and that itβs been 7 years, I should just get over it by now or go join my family in the ground. My friends lost their anger and called her every name in the book. I am honestly just shocked and disappointed at the person who used to be my friend. It breaks my heart knowing I lost another person in my life, but I guess you guys are right in the sense that she never really was a friend. I now look back at our friendship and realized it was often one sided on my part. I wish it didnβt take me so long to realize it. No one in our friend group of 6 people are going to her wedding now. We have decided to go no contact with Amy a
... keep reading on reddit β‘Many 18 year olds are left to their own by their parents to pay for their education. Why are new solutions to high college tuition becoming income based rather than universal?
I think I'm in the right on this, but I've also been told I'm an abrasive asshole so maybe I should have handled this differently.
I'm 25, female, and have cancer. I'm not going to die. We caught it early enough to know that I will survive this. Chemo sucks, I'm already sick of the GI Jane/Natalie Portman/Imperator Furiosa jokes after I shaved my head, but at least I can now smoke pot in a state that bans recreational marijuana use.
The other night, I got phone calls from my sister and my cousin letting me know that our aunt, who is the most overzealous, narcissistic, self-absorbed woman we know, was planning on having the whole family show their support for my cancer diagnosis by getting everyone to shave their heads. Personally, I always thought this stunt was really stupid. And my sister and cousin are against this for a number of reasons. My sister is a flight attendant and just got off furlough, so she doesn't want to jeopardize her job by showing up to work with a shaved head when her airline has a very strict dress code. My cousin is fourteen, has waist length red hair that makes her look like a ginger Rapunzel, and is already dealing with self-esteem issues. Her hair is the only thing she likes about herself, so shaving it off would destroy her mentally. They tried to talk my aunt of out it, but she wasn't budging. We think my aunt is doing this to get clout on social media, maybe even get an article in People. IDK. Like I said, she will make anything about her.
So, without naming names, I made this post on facebook letting everyone in our family know that the jig is up. The gist was that I don't want to see anyone shaving their heads in the name of supporting me just because I have cancer, especially when some of them were the ones behind the GI Jane jokes. Instead of doing something that would make them feel good about themselves, why not do something to make me feel good. Like, oh, I don't know, driving me to my appointments now and then or helping around the apartment or cooking when I don't feel like hot pockets again. Just something to make my routine a little easier while I deal with the chemo side affects. Hell, even a lemonade stand will do because this is America and our healthcare system is a joke.
This backfired and now many of my relatives, spearheaded by my aunt, are putting me on blast by calling me ungrateful. I should be happy to see that I have my whole family supporting me on my "battle" (barf) by doin
... keep reading on reddit β‘I was born on 29th feb 2000, so Iβm turning 21 in a few days. My dad got married a month ago. She has a son a few years younger than me. Heβs 16.
My dad is currently abroad for work, and my stepmom decided to take a little holiday out of town with stepbrother. Theyβre supposed to leave tomorrow, and come back on March 2nd.
I know my family will throw me a small party. Apparently my grandma reached out to stepmom 2 weeks ago and asked if sheβll be attending. Stepmom freaked out. She told grandma that she didnβt know that I was having a party since thereβs no feb 29th this year. Which is the weirdest logic Iβve ever heard anyone use. Do you think I only celebrate every four years?
Sheβs angry because sheβs already booked the holiday, and cancelling it would be really expensive. This would be the first family gathering (yup, my party would be the first time my close family gathers in around a year. We still need to keep it under 15 people though) and stepbrother wonβt be there to enjoy etc.
She asked grandma whether it could be shifted to March 3rd. Grandma called me and asked me if that would be okay. Iβm not okay with that.
March 3rd isnβt a weekend. The party is currently scheduled for 28th of this month, which is a Sunday so most of my aunts and uncles can make it. They canβt make it on March 3rd. Iβd prefer my aunts and uncles who Iβm close to vs stepmom I met for the first time last month.
I told her no. Stepmom is super upset that her son wonβt meet his family and they donβt know they next time thereβll be a family gathering like this.
My dad is staying out of this. He has the very convenient excuse of not being in the country to ignore this argument.
There's a rich kid in town. Let's call him Melvin. He thinks he's really smart. He finds a coupon for $20 off the new Nintendo Switch during the holidays with no limit on number of units. This is easy. I'll go ahead and sell the Switch now for $200 and then buy it for $180 with the coupon. Easiest $20 I'll ever make. He goes and tells all his parents' friends at the Citadel Country Club that he can get them the new Nintendo Switch for their kids. He collects $200 each from 150 parents. He now has $30K and will use that money to purchase Nintendo Switches for $27K. He'll have earned $3K in just a few hours. His parents will be so proud.
There's another kid watching Melvin this entire time. Let's call him Keith. Keith doesn't like Melvin. Keith is good friends with the guys over at Gamestop. He finds out that there are were only 100 new Switches shipped to the entire country. Keith and his 99 friends buy all 100 Nintendo Switches on the spot.
Later in the day, Melvin goes to Gamestop with his $20 off coupon and says, "I'll take 150 Nintendo Switches please." Gamestop guy looks at him and says, "Sorry, we're all sold out." Melvin goes to the next Gamestop. Same story. All sold out. He goes to all the Gamestops in the city and can't find a single Switch. He won't be able to fulfill the orders.
Meanwhile, Keith is telling all his friends about what Melvin promised the members at the Country Club. Nobody sell him the Nintendo Switch that you bought, no matter how much he offers you. Nobody likes Melvin, so everybody holds on to their Nintendo Switch.
Melvin is in trouble. His parents rich friends are all asking when they are getting their Nintendo Switch. Melvins parents are angry, but they don't want to lose their standing in the Citadel Country Club. They have to help Melvin gets 150 Nintendo Switches. Now remember there are only 100 Switches in the city, but Melvin has created the expectation among the parents that there are 150. This is how you get a short percentage over 100%. Melvin has promised more than actually exist.
The price of Nintendo Switches in the city skyrockets. Melvins parents were able to get a few units from Keiths friends, but they had to pay really inflated prices for them, first $1,000, then $2,000, now $3,000. It's nearing Christmas, and every rich parent at the Country Club is desperate for the Nintendo Switch they promised their kids. They can't trust that Melvin will be able to get them one. They all start bidding against each o
... keep reading on reddit β‘I am an after school tutor. Homework help and co-curricular support mostly, test prep sometimes.
I am pretty adamant and clear that you cannot leave the house while Iβm working with your child because I am not childcare and I cannot be made responsible if something like a medical episode happens. I also donβt want there to be the appearance of impropriety.
I donβt need them in the room or anything, just in the house.
Even still, parents occasionally try and use me as an excuse to run a child free errand or run to the office or whatever else they do. Usually after the first warning it stops, and thereβs also a financial penalty.
Recently I had a family where the mom evidently left during our session. This was the first time that it had happened.
Eventually I needed to leave for my next appointment. I texted and called her, but no response. I was not comfortable leaving the child (8) alone without an adult present.
After 15 minutes of waiting and becoming late for the next child, I got nervous and called the police non-emergency line to ask what I should do next. They said theyβd send someone over.
The police arrived and said theyβd wait with her. Of course, I have many angry calls and a negative review from this mother now, saying Iβve created a huge problem for her and the police think sheβs some kind of bad mother now and a social services agent asked her all kinds of questions and how dare, etc.
She claims she didnβt realize the session was only thirty minutes and thought it would be ok to quickly leave around the corner because I would still be there when she returned.
I was comfortable with the decision at first, but she seemed genuinely shaken up by her interactions with the social agent or officer she spoke to (unclear which from her message). And a friend of mine says this was an uncalled for escalation that could have actually placed the child in more jeopardy than my leaving after the appointment (or that I should have waited for the mom to return and spoken with her first as a warning.)
AITA?
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